Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Looking For Mr. Bitcoin
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.15.2012
THIRD WITNESS
Mr. Crestview Priority Inn: "You know how sometimes something seems like a cool idea, you know, and then later on you feel like maybe you committed too fast?"
Alicia: "Like that show Community."
MCPI: "Yeah, exactly! It was so great at the beginning, and then just became FUBU for Aspies. They've already got Bones, do we really need an additional two Big Bang Theories?"
Balaban: "So what you're saying is that you were taking Bitcoin, but you would also take frequent-flyer miles? Diner's Club? McDonald's Monopoly stickers, like from a hash brown, from the side of a hash brown, you would take that as payment? Pretty rocks, perhaps? Were to glitter?"
MCPI: "Look. I'm not saying I'm a financial wizard. I'm just saying we took Bitcoin, and it was stupid, and we don't do that anymore. But in terms of your legal argument yes, frequent-flyer miles would work, but they're nontransferable."
Balaban: "Whereas Bitcoin is transferable, and you can use it to buy anything you want. You could go to Amazon right now and buy a book, maybe, on how to run a hotel..."
MCPI: "-- It's an inn."
Balaban: "...An inn, and pay for that with that. Like it was money."
MCPI: "Although I'm not sure exactly how you transfer Bitcoins to another person. I think they call it 'yiffing.'"
Balaban: "It's a currency, bitches. No more questions."
BOOTS & BATS BAR & GRILL
Dana: "Okay, I'm just going to tell you that Wendy Scott-Carr is up my ass about Will, and you're the pressure point. I'm being ordered to come after you. Okay?"
Kalinda: "So far, so good."
Dana: "So you need to make a very important choice now."
Kalinda: "Meaning ultimatum. Uh, last motherfucker offered me one of those, I took a baseball bat to the inside of his mind."
Dana: "Was there sexy frisking? Sort of hot, but also exceedingly uncomfortable to watch at the same time?"
Kalinda: "There was like an hour of that."
Dana: "Okay, well, then I'm giving you an ultimatum for sure! I have here Alicia's forged signature on that conflict waiver from last week."
Kalinda: "...This is literally the most fucked-up thing you could possibly do to me."
DECODE-A-THON
Kalinda: "Hey there, ya little pocket monster. Whatcha doin'?"
Bao: "Cryptocaching a GPS socket and then I'm going to iterate."
Kalinda: "Awesome. Listen, I'm here to awaken you to the mysteries of manhood."
Bao: "Lady, you did that just walkin' over here."
Kalinda: "Gross me out. Uh, are you Mr. Bitcoin?"
Bao: "No! Elaine is. What a shell game this is. This Decode-A-(Game-Of)-Thon(s). And anyway, look at the 'newest block' of Bitcoin, it has a statement 'embedded in the code.'"