Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 4 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Goldilocks Zone
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.27.2013
Neil Gross busts in, all rude and fabulous.
Neil: "You're trying to sneak into my business by representing us legally! You're trying to ruin my wedding!"
Will: "I'm the head of Litigation, I don't do Family Law. Try though you might to make this personal, trust me when I say I want nothing to do with you. Now get the hell out of my office, and take your hoodie-wearing nonsense elsewhere."
Will and Kalinda stare at each other, and finally he's just like, "If I give you a raise will you go Blake Calamar on that dude's ass?"
PRENUP CONFERENCE
David Lee, Cary and Alicia join the happy couple in a meeting with Neil's lawyer, Eleanor Waldorf. There's a long fight about what state's marriage laws are actually in effect because that governs how the prenup will work.
Waldorf correctly surmises that L/G is trying to place them in a state with the titular "Seven-Day Rule," which says that the prenup has to be finished and on the table for seven whole days before it counts and you can get married -- which, since they're getting married in nine days, is David Lee holding a gun to their heads. (For once with David Lee, that's just a metaphor.) This means 48 hours to get this thing signed, which considering both sides are being nasty as hell...
Cary: "The gun is to all of our heads, lady."
Eleanor: "No, because which party suffers if it doesn't work out? The poor girl."
Alicia: "Both parties suffer, because they're both getting married. We all suffer, because we all want this to work out. So don't worry about the pressure. Hang on, I have a call from my bank."
Alicia's trying to get a loan for the $600K against her mortgage, but is reminded that thanks to stupid-ass Jackie, she needs the mortgage's cosigner to okay the loan: Peter. One simply must hope that the booty calls have him dazzled enough that he won't find some way to dick her on this. I mean, why would he, but Peter does just generally obstruct most joy.
Back in the room, Dina and Neil are steadfast in their conviction that the whole prenup is moot anyway because they are very much in love, so whatever. Dina allows the terms to be set in Texas, and David Lee requests a break.
David Lee: "I hate that they are both being so acquiescent. It really fucks up the game. We can't have any more reasonable behavior outta those two, it's not about love."