Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 4 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Goldilocks Zone
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.27.2013
Diane: "Who? We don't know anybody like that."
Will: "Hint, she is also the main character of this TV show."
Immediate cut to Kalinda in Alicia's office, having just received Canning's subpoena for her.
I do remember that case being awkwardly resolved... Oh no, it was worse! I remember now: Once Martha proved the ballerina was trespassing, Alicia only got there by blackmailing Canning's CEO client I liked so much, about his secret cancer. That's not even a gray area, that's a full-on danger zone. Yikes, Alicia.
GROSS PRENUP
David Lee: "I give up. Dina's an ass-ache and she's okay with anything. Which is the opposite of what a prenup is for, but whatever."
Eleanor: "Great! I love it when things are easy..."
Cary: "Just one thing."
Eleanor: "...There it is. Take us home, you dorks."
L/G has a list of demands that are just epically adorable: One contiguous four-hour "date night" a week, 10 hours away from work every week ("That could be problematic," Eleanor mutters), and raise the kids Christian. (Gross is Jewish, so that could be a dealbreaker.) And then also a set number of sexual encounters, on which Eleanor grossly agrees to "horse trade," which makes Alicia shift around in her chair uncomfortably.
They take the list back to Dina, having provoked Eleanor into making counter-demands. Like, for example, raising the kids Jewish. Oh, you guys. You scamps.
Cary: "Also, you have to have sex with Neil twice a week. Or more, or less. Up to him."
Dina: "Wait, he asked for that?"
Alicia: "No. His lawyers asked for that. And only because these fuckin' jokers over here..."
David Lee: "Hey! Dina, listen. You're giving in too easily and now they're pressing the advantage."
Cary: "So you can sign this prenup right away, and stanch the hemorrhage of your self-respect, or..."
AFTER
David Lee: "Cary! I had no idea you were so gross. I love it! You'll be a great equity partner."
Cary: Blushes.
Alicia: "The fuck? Walk with me."
Cary: "I know, right? I can't believe it. A fourth-year, making partner. I thought becoming Deputy SA was the only time somebody would leverage my ambitions this way, but I guess there really is a free lunch sometimes! It's my day!"
Alicia: "So, they're soaking us for about a million bucks of their bankruptcy money. These assholes. I sure hope this doesn't prejudice my testimony in my upcoming deposition specifically about their business practices."