Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Kook, The Crank, The Blind & Her Mugger
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 03.21.2011
Spencer: "Oh hey, Ian. I just got in a massive car accident with your wife and baby."
Ian: "Yeah, I know."
Spencer: "Really? Because I thought maybe you'd want to be there. At least until you find out if your baby is okay."
Ian: "No, I was just waiting for you to leave the hospital so I could come and kill you."
Spencer: "See, problem right there."
Ian: "No, Melissa would want me to kill you, trust me."
Spencer: "Like you killed Alison?"
She throws the USB drive through the air -- still possessed by Hanna, I see -- and then runs through the church and screams and where is he, there he is, very scary, bell tower. She calls the Liars so they can hear this part, and this is verbatim what they hear, because this is intriguing:
Ian: "Picked a perfect place for your suicide. You didn't mean to hurt Alison. It was an accident. You pushed her and she fell."
Spencer: "Is that what happened?"
Ian: "She just hit her head and she never woke up."
Spencer: "Alison died of suffocation."
Ian: "Yeah, the letter that I wrote on your computer won't answer all the questions, but it will answer enough. The guilt was just too much for you."
Spencer: "If you love my sister, you won't do this."
Ian: "I'm doing it because I love her."
There's a long scuffle and Spencer's eyes are just bugging out of her head and you can hear Spencer is very close to getting murdered, plus he's been beating the shit out of her this entire time, but then who appears but a person in a black hoodie, and Ian goes, "What are you doing here?" and then boom: He goes sailing over the edge, into the well of the bell tower, and there he is hung until dead, just hanging from the ropes and going the bell grimly back and forth while the Liars all converge on Spencer and she fills them in on how freaked out she is and how probably A killed Ian.
Minutes later the four shellshocked ladies are outside the church, and some cop comes running up to yell at them because, yet again, there is no body. Ella and Byron sort of jump into each other's arms a little bit, and there's Noel Kahn out in the crowd wearing not exactly a black hoodie, and everybody is like, "Those girls are so pretty, but are they lying?" and even Florence + the Machine are singing about liars, and A sends one last text: "It's not over until I say it is. Sleep tight while you still can, bitches."