Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Kook, The Crank, The Blind & Her Mugger
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 03.21.2011
Suddenly Garrett shows up off the clock to... Invite Emily to watch Dancing With The Stars with his family? It's never really clear why he stops her to say hello, but the gist of their conversation is that he knows Spencer wouldn't have actually hurt Alison and that he wants to be their guy on the inside. Which is like total confirmation that he's got some other agenda, and will probably end up killing everybody someday. Anyway, Emily is charmed by him because she likes the idea of there being like one authority figure or male person in Rosewood that actually doesn't totally suck, and because she's going to end up calling him for help during the Sting.
Hanna's chilling on her doorstep, which is good because Lucas gave Emily Hanna's phone, and they talk about Texas and how Emily can learn to like big-haired beauty queens eventually, and then they hug quietly, and somewhere Mona's probably digging her nails into her palms. Nearby, Toby and Spencer are being super cute in Spencer's room, pretending to study while secretly staring, and Spencer's nervous about the Sting also, so Toby makes her come and sit with him in that red leather club chair that I always wanted them to cuddle in, because this show knows what is up. How crazy is that?
(And does it mean Noel Kahn is coming back soon? Sure does! What shall I wish for next, is the question.)
So again verbatim -- because honestly I feel like I'm getting some things confused here -- you have Jenna still hanging out in the creepy snowglobe room and she goes, "Alison's so cunning. She's still taunting us from the grave. If this video gets out, we will lose everything." And you think she's talking to Ian -- or just being creepy Jenna and there's nobody there, maybe -- but then it's totally not Ian, it's Suddenly Garrett. Well done, Cavanaugh.
Garrett goes, "I won't let that happen. I promise you." And then they make out. So I guess if Garrett gets invited to the Sting -- which now all three of them creeps know about? -- he can somehow mess it up or otherwise work with Ian to keep them from... Nope, lost it. I have no idea what is going on.
The mysterious Florentine Fiancée from Ezra Fitz's "website page" shows up at the faculty mixer, because guess where Jackie Molina secretly works? That's right, at Hollis College for the Chinless, along with the rest of Aria's oppressors. Aria totally goes, "The fuck are you doing here?" and Jackie's like, "Stop being a rude little girl?" so Aria goes zooming through the whole house like knocking down cats and throwing old books around and flicking the bottom of people's plastic wine glasses and generally acting the fool.