Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 7 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Hardy Boys Get Frisky Over A Pottery Wheel
By Demian | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2006
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah: Doctor Hibbert enters the room at this point to inform Puffy Sam that John's recovered consciousness, and that Sam can go see him if he'd like. "What about my brother?" Sam immediately asks, so you know where his true allegiance lies. As if you didn't before. Doc Hibbert gives Sam the depressing run-down on Dean's current condition: Jolly Green Dean's suffered blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidneys, and, certainly most disheartening, "head trauma with early signs of cerebral edema." "We won't know his full condition until he wakes up," Doc Hibbert advises, before carefully amending that statement with, "If he wakes up." "'If'?" Sam repeats, a hint of outrage in his voice as Spectral Dean unleashes his fuller version of said outrage by scowling, "Screw you, Doc -- I'm gonna wake up!" The Doc, of course ignoring Spectral Dean's outburst, replies, "I have to be honest, most people with his degree of injury wouldn't have survived this long. He's fighting very hard, but you need to have realistic expectations." Puffy Sam gulps -- hard -- as Spectral Dean amps up the outrage to seethe, "Come on, Sam -- go find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on me! I'll be fine!" Spectral Dean blurs out in the background of the shot as the camera pulls the focus in on Sam's face. Poor little guy looks like he's about to cry. But, you know. Bitch still needs to CUT HIS GODDAMNED HAIR ALREADY.
Over in John's room, the gentleman in question slides an insurance card out of his wallet to pass to Puffy Sam. "'Elroy McGillicuddy'?" Sam reads from the card with a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "And his two loving sons," John adds, with far more affection than we've grown to expect from the evil, tedious bastard. Sam, not sure where the tone of his father's last statement is coming from, gamely yet grudgingly offers him a half-chuckle before Shut Up Daddy asks, "What else did the doctor say about Dean?" "Nothin'," Sam grimaces before adding, "Look, if the doctors won't do anything, then we'll have to." "I don't know," he continues, with much shaking of badly coiffed head, "I'll find some...hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on him." Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Correct answer, Psychic Boy! Hooray! Shut Up Daddy, however, simply agrees to "look" for somebody, which isn't enough of a commitment as far as Sam's concerned, and so the whole thing blows up into yet another argument between the two, with Puffy Sam refusing to "just sit around with [his] thumb up [his] ass" while Dean lays at death's door, and Shut Up Daddy snorting...something I totally don't care about before the whole tiresome little spat simmers down long enough for Shut Up Daddy to inquire after the fucking Colt's current disposition. Puffy Sam rolls his eyes into the back of his skull before huffing up a lungful of air to peeve, "Your son is dying, and you're worried about the [fucking] Colt?" Shut Up Daddy harshly reminds his younger son that they've got a demon on their collective tail, and the fucking Colt is their only protection against it. "It's in the trunk," Sam allows after tossing his father a tired glare. Shut Up Daddy's all, "In the trunk of the wreck that used to be your brother's car? We are both demonically screwed and arrested!" Or something like that. Sam assures Shut Up Daddy that he's already contacted Bobby to drive down to their current location (for those of you playing along at home, they're somewhere inexplicably near "I-83," which only runs through Maryland and South-Central Pennsylvania, like, whatever, show) for a tow. Shut Up Daddy orders Sam to meet up with Bobby to retrieve the fucking Colt, with instructions to return to the hospital with it immediately. Also, as almost too casual an afterthought, Shut Up Daddy passes Sam a grocery list of hunting-related provisions he'd like Bobby to procure. "'Acacia'?" Sam squints, peering at what his father's written down. "'Oil of abramelin'? What's this stuff for?" "Protection," John calmly replies. No, that's not suspicious at all! Right before Sam exits, he spins around to wonder if his father knew what The Ceiling Demon meant when the latter claimed to have "plans" for Sam and "the children like [him]." "No," Shut Up Daddy shakes his head. "I don't." LIAR! Sam The Amazingly Puffy Mind-Reading Psychic Boy fails to pick up on the lying lies his lying liar of a father is telling him and exits the room. Perhaps Sam's mind-reading abilities are being blocked by ALL OF THAT HAIR THAT HE NEEDS TO CUT ALREADY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. You know. Maybe.
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