Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 7 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Hardy Boys Get Frisky Over A Pottery Wheel
By Demian | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2006
Sam's scream echoes on the soundtrack as the screen flares almost completely white. The camera, you see, has abruptly cross-faded itself into an into-the-sun shot. In a rather well-done effect, a Medivac helicopter gradually emerges from the glare to blot out the sun itself as it eases towards the ground. Quick shots of the still-unconscious Dean and John with neckbraces (and gauze!) being strapped onto backboards before being loaded into the chopper. Dean's still wearing his lucky amulet, by the way. Yeah. Lots of help you got from that stupid little poorly-defined trinket, Deano. As a paramedic shouts, "Significant passenger space intrusion!" -- like, duh, EMT Obvious. Have you taken even one look at their fucking car? -- Sam calls out from his own backboard, "Tell me if they're okay!" Getting no appropriate response from the pretty blonde in charge of his own transport, he bellows once more, "ARE THEY EVEN ALIVE?!" Oh, look at Puffy Sammy, finally getting all manly with the yelling and such. He's so cute!
Smash to a slow-moving pan down an almost-empty hospital corridor as a few tense strings saw away on the soundtrack. In one of the nearby rooms, Dean's profile suddenly snaps into the frame as he presumably bolts upright in bed. He blinks his great big doe eyes a couple of times before pivoting his torso around to swing his legs off the side of the bed. The shot cuts immediately to an under-the-bed perspective to catch his bare feet as they hit the linoleum. And do those bare feet make a sound? No. DUN! The camera pans up slowly to caress Jensen Ackles's scrubs-clad ass as Dean makes his somewhat bow-legged way over to the room's door. Out in the deserted hallway, Dean glances around while calling out first for his brother, then for his father, and then, still receiving no response, for anyone at all. Meanwhile, the camera's been booted to the far end of the hallway, where it plays tricky some more with the angles, this time slowly panning upwards to allow a red-lit EXIT sign to take up a full fourth of the screen in the foreground while tiny little woebegone bow-legged Dean wanders around all by his scantily-clad and barefoot lonesome in the deep and blurry background of the shot. Do you see where they're going with all of this? Good.
More camera trickiness as it cuts down to the hospital's main entrance foyer to drift along a stairwell railing before swiveling up and tilting into a disorienting angle as it catches Dean picking his way down towards the landing from above. As we hear a nurse take a call at the still-unseen reception desk, the camera speeds up to pull an extreme low-angle of Dean hoofing it down the remaining steps, and goddamn, but Jensen Ackles is working the shit out of his white v-neck t-shirt and those light-blue drawstring scrub pants. Woof. Ahem. Yeah. So, uh. Wow. Back to the action, I guess. Such as it is. Dean, host to a couple of scabby-looking cheek bruises and one giant forehead gash on his pretty, pretty face, winces a bit as he continues down the stairs, calling out, "Excuse me?" The receptionist does not reply. Rude! Or is she? Dean ambles over to the desk and explains, "I think I was in a car accident with my dad and my brother -- I just need to find them." The nurse -- who's sporting a wickedly complicated Botticelli-inspired coif with hideous roots -- continues to ignore the incredibly hot gentleman standing right in front of her in nothing more than a tight white v-neck t-shirt and a pair of light-blue drawstring scrub pants, so, you know. She's either a lesbian who's both blind and deaf, or Dean's a ghost. Ooops! Was that a spoiler? About Dean, I mean. I don't think anyone reading this gives a rat's ass about the nurse's orientation, eyesight, or hearing.
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