Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 14 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Clean
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 04.28.2013
Patti: "You're the third-party candidate, retard. Why does it even matter at this point, or ever?"
Jordan: "Well, that's kind of my point. I'm not here just to present another obstacle in the storyline, I'm doing it without a clear allegiance to either main candidate. Once again, my practical efficacy is secondary to the fact that I represent the actual sanctity of the process. Until such time as I make it clear that I'm just doing this to fuck Eli Gold."
OUTSIDE
Robyn Burdine is full-on camped out asleep in the hallway of the federal building, adorable, and Cary's just sitting beside her playing on his phone because when you're that feral/low-maintenance people tend to get used to you real quick.
Will: "We got an apostrophe problem..."
Robyn Burdine: "Robyn Burdine is awake and functioning!"
Will: "Scare up something that'll sink Jordan's argument about the misprint."
Robyn runs off, Will runs off, and Alicia holds Cary back.
Alicia: "You little fucking punk. Do you want me to tattle to the partners?"
Cary: "Whoa, what's this now? Why do you keep thinking I'm Season One Cary?"
Alicia: "Colin Sweeney called..."
Cary: "I swear to God, Alicia, he just rolled up on us out of a fog, attended by wolves, coalescing out of the night. I didn't try to..."
Alicia: "He's my client, Cary! He proves my worth!"
Cary: "Which is why I would never, ever do that? Also because it wouldn't work, because he's like obsessed with you? Also because he is a sex murderer and we need to fill in our midlist before we start bringing in high-profile pervs?"
Alicia: "Just me bitching you out like this proves I'm thinking about all kinds of things that make me feel guilty. But I'm still gonna take it out on you!"
She pushes him down the marble steps, punctuating each snapped bone and surprised cry with a booming laughter.
Alicia: "You have reaped the motherfucking whirlwind!"
He lies in a pile of himself at the bottom of the stairs, desperate to apologize for having offended her, begging -- as she makes her way toward him, one step at a time, heels echoing in the night -- for a moment without pain. Anything, if only the savagery will stop. All he wanted to do was stay clean, and help her come back home.
Robyn Burdine: "Sorry to interrupt this ass-beating you guys, but I just solved the misprint thing in the time it took you to pull out the seams on your entire relationship. Turns out this 'Albert O'Dell' is actually Jewish and that's his fake name."
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