Episode Report Card Joe R: A- | 162 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT You Can't Miss The Bear
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.08.07
Doug Wilson, meanwhile, is in his minivan, partaking of his herb. Nancy finds him and calls him an idiot for smoking out in the open where people like Celia could see him. "You're on the goddamn City Council," she lectures. Doug thinks Celia is a total bitch and says her husband is banging his tennis pro. "She love him long time," he says, which earns a well-deserved groan from yours truly. Nancy makes up for it by saying the girl's from Anaheim, not Bankok. "She can't shoot tennis balls out of her twat." No, says Doug, but she did shove a tennis reacket handle up Dean's asshole last week. Set and match! We learn that Doug (and Dean too, I assume) was friends with Judah, and then Nancy gets paid. Back at her van, Josh makes the mistake of approaching her with some snarky remark or another, and for his trouble he gets grabbed by his collar and read the riot act for selling to kids. He's not at all apologetic about it ("they all want it and they cry if you say no") and says he'll sell to whoever he wants. At which point Nancy grabs him by his face and shoves him into the side of her Range Rover. A real inelegant kind of shove, I loved it. Josh is a little shaken but recovers in time to point out that she can't exactly rat him out to his dad (getting baked in the van, as Nancy just saw), and he insincerely promises never to sell to Shane. "You're just a kid," Nancy realizes. "And you're a hypocrite," says Josh, as he decries the pot-dealing mom preaching to keep kids off drugs. No more than the beer vendor opposing underage drinking, I could argue, but the kid has a point. He slinks off as Shane, Silas, and Quinn approach. Inside the car, Quinn leans over to Nancy and asks if she and Silas can have sex in Nancy's house.
Cut to the Botwin rooftop, as Nancy multi-tasks: she's trying to have a hip, mature "you sure you're ready" talk with Quinn (who is fully prepared to use Nancy's reticence at being the heavy against her) all while scanning the neighborhood with binoculars. I'm not sure what Nancy's intended purpose is with the binoculars, but it makes it awfully convenient when Quinn spies Josh in the backyard Jacuzzi of the neighborhood closeted sugar daddy. Quinn's all up on the Agrestic gossip (she even knows about her dad and the tennis pro), but she didn't know Josh was gay. Nancy takes a look just in time to see Josh making out with the guy. Advantage: Botwin. Next thing we know, Nancy's barging into Sugar Daddy's house, where Josh is jumping up on the bed in his underwear. All that charm and a hustler too, eh Josh? Nancy gets him in an arm lock and makes him promise to stop selling to kids or he rats him out to his dad. Here's hoping all of Nancy's problems end up having a scary homo secret to exploit, am I right?