Episode Report Card Omar G: A | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Heeeeeeee's Nuts
By Omar G | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.18.2003
Stables. Clark is waiting for his (giggle) "Benjamins." Instead, a ninja is pointing a high-powered sniper rifle. Clark superzips around the sniper and chokes him with the gun. He says he wants to know where the ninja's boss is, or Clark will keep squeezing.
Cut to Stately Edge Manor, which is nicely tended if the landscaping is any indication. Inside, Edge is looking in the mirror. An older-looking guard is standing by. Edge opens up some French doors and takes in the outside air. His scars are healing up. He's holding his Kryptonite rosary beads. Edge and his guard hear a noise from another room. The guard goes to check it out. With a gun. Something falls. Edge pulls out his own little silver gun. Edge calls for his guard, Jameson. Jenna? Jonah? Edge has a stained-glass hall window, too. Edge find Jameson crumpled up in a heap on the floor. As he stands, we see Lex behind Edge, pointing his gun. Lex says he gave Edge a chance, but that the Extreme Makeover Villain really screwed it up. Edge says that Papa Luthor's the one who screwed up. Lex throws Edge down the hall. He says that if he'd done things his way, Lex would be dead by now. He asks if Lex really thinks he'd have lived if Edge was really trying to kill him. Edge says it was Papa Luthor's idea to make Lex crazy instead. More pushing. "You're lying!" Lex screams. Lex rubs his neck as Edge explains that Papa Luthor has gotten soft and didn't want to lose another son. Edge asks if Lex's neck is still bothering him. He asks if Lex has got muscle aches and sleeplessness, too. Loose bowels? Irritable elbows? Edge says that those are symptoms of the crazy drug.
Lex asks how Edge did it. Edge says that Papa Luthor thought of everything: the drugs, fixing the window, setting up the sweatshop. All details to push Lex over the edge. Lex asks how he knows that Edge didn't do it all himself. Edge tells Lex he wouldn't be staying at such a cushy place if he hadn't cut a deal with Papa Luthor. Edge says it was an elegant plan. Edge says that Papa Luthor doesn't have to win. He says that he and Lex can bring Papa Luthor down together. Lex puts his gun down for a second, and then brings it back up. "Maybe I'll just kill both of you," Lex says. He looks like he's about to shoot. Clark superzips in and takes the gun from Lex. "Hi, Kal," Edge says. "I had a feeling we'd see each other again." Edge shows off his swanky new green stones. Clark moves his head back in a nauseated gesture. Lex asks if they know each other. Edge says that they go way back. Lex accuses Clark of being in on all this. Clark groans and denies it. Clark doubles over. Edge uses it as an opportunity to lay some whup-ass on Clark. He punches Clark in the face. Kicks him in the stomach. Punches him in the face again. The rosary falls apart, sending Kryptonite beads everywhere. Clark's mouth and nose are bleeding. Lex shoots Edge on the shoulder. Edge falls outside. Clark thanks Lex. Lex tells Clark not to thank him; he points the gun down at Clark and says, "You're part of this. I have to kill you, too." Frantic strings! Commercials!