Episode Report Card Omar G: A | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Heeeeeeee's Nuts
By Omar G | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.18.2003
We return to Clark on the floor. I'm not sure that this is unusual with Clark and Lex, except maybe for the gun. (And again, I'm not even sure this isn't just some elaborate bedtime game.) Lex asks if Clark can just crawl away from him. Have you noticed they don't make Clark's veins bulge or the rocks glow anymore when he's exposed to Kryptonite? I guess they figure we get it by now. Clark crawls some more amid the green marbles. He moans that he would never do anything to hurt Lex. Lex asks if Clark betrayed Edge, too, and if that's why he got beaten to a pulp. "What's the price of a Judas kiss these days?" Lex asks, bending down to get the gun in Clark's face.
Lex hears a car engine start up outside. He looks through the French doors, and Edge isn't dead on the ground. Lex lets go of Clark and goes outside. Edge is driving fast in his Beamer. Lex gets in the path of the car, raises his gun, and starts firing. He gets Edge in the shoulder and the chest. Edge dies, but his foot stays on the gas. Lex doesn't move. Clark rushes in and pushes Lex away. Clark stands his ground, throwing his shoulder forward, and we get a nice CGI of the car crumpling around Clark's bent body. The car is a steaming hulk. Clark pries it apart from him and pushes it away. Lex saw everything. He's stunned. He looks at his luvah in new wonder: "I was right about you all along, Clark. You're not even human." Lex has a tear in his eye. He smiles with something like glee.
Before Clark can respond, a big truck pulls up. It's Doctor Unamused and some black-trenchcoat goons. Lex, instead of trying to sound rational, starts in on the car hitting Clark at 80 mph. (I doubt it was that fast.) Lex asks if they saw him. The psychiatrist, looking at Lex with pity, glances in the direction Lex is pointing. Nobody's there. Now, how shitty is it that Clark just left Lex to lie there looking crazy instead of trying to help Lex come up with a suitable alibi? "He was right there," Lex says. Crazy! Doctor Unamused says it's all right. They're going to get him the help he needs. The goons start to help Lex into the truck as he yells, "No! He was right there! Look at the car!...Claaarkkk!" Lex calls. Sadness.
Hospital. Aw, crap, this again. Lana's leg is all braced up in bed. Clark is there with her instead of making sure that Lex is all right. Lana wakes up and asks about Lex. Clark says he's not doing so well. "Sorry," Lana says. "I know how much you wanted to help him." Clark says that Lana's doing better. Wow, that's fair. She says she almost died. Clark knows. We all know. We had a party. Lana says she always thought Clark was being paranoid about it being too dangerous to be around him. Lana says now she believes him, and knows he was only looking out for her: "But you're right. I think I have to stay away from you." Wooooo! Can I get a "Whup whup!" It's time to rejoice! It's time to laugh! Put your hands together and cheer! They finally got the hint! Only two months after the official break-up! Lana closes her eyes in pain. Somewhere, a horse is being rewarded with extra sugar cubes. Clark is like, "Well, damn, finally! I was wondering what I was going to have to do to get you away from me."