Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Teddy And His Telephone
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.30.2007
And now, let said damn phone call start. After a few sweaty minutes, the phone rings...
Michael: Hello?
Allegedly Dr. Sara: It's me.
Michael: How are you?
Allegedly Dr. Sara: I'm tired. Where...where are you?
Michael: It's a long story.
Allegedly Dr. Sara: As it turns out, I don't appear to be going anywhere.
Michael: I know. I know. I'm working on that. Listen, Sara, I miss how we used to talk. Do you remember how we used to talk?
Allegedly Dr. Sara: Yes.
Michael: Well, good. I saw your picture today. And I want you to know, I understand. I understand the difficult place you're in.
Allegedly Dr. Sara: Michael, listen. I...I don't want you to think like that.
Michael: Why is that?
Allegedly Dr. Sara: You have to know, it's a lost cause. L.J. and I, we can see it now. It's a lost cause. Do you understand?
Michael: No, no, I don't. Help me. Help me understand.
Allegedly Dr. Sara: All I can think of to help is, maybe you just need more time? It's like they're giving you until midnight and I'm sitting here at 3 AM. [a hand cocks a gun at her head] They're saying I have to hang up.
Michael: Sara, I love you.
Allegedly Dr. Sara: I love you too.
While that whole conversation's going on, we see the back of the Alleged Dr. Sara, with her hair all in her face, but it is so obviously not the actress we're used to, and whatever monkeyshines are going on behind the scenes, fix them, y'all.
Anyway, Michael quickly calls Linc back and concludes, "They were never in Santa Rita." (Linc, on the other end: "WHAT?!?!") Michael adds, "The patron saint of lost causes is Saint Rita. [Dr. Sara] was never telling us where they were, she was telling us what they could see from where they were." T-Bag bursts in and nervously demands the phone, since Lechero's now done with his shave. Michael wants T-Bag to stall, and says, "One more thing, Linc. She said something about needing more time. She said, it's like they're giving us until midnight, but she was sitting at 3 AM." We go to a very funny shot of Linc stopping dead in his tracks, asking, "What the hell does that mean?" LINCOLN NOT LIKE METAPHORS. Michael explains that they're near a clock, and while he'd love to stay on the line and brainstorm, he really can't, because the menacing killer he stole the phone from really needs to not know the phone's been gone.
Then we go to a very tense sequence in which Michael tries to get into Lechero's suite, put the phone back in its cradle, and get out undetected. He almost doesn't pull it off, except T-Bag frantically stalls the crowd at the door with the ol' "I think that barber might have missed a spot" trick. While Lechero is -- again -- quite amused by T-Bag's overdone toadying, Sammy seethes in the background. However, Lechero notices that his phone is not quite set in its cradle.