Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Teddy And His Telephone
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.30.2007
Cut to Mahone wandering through the corridors in a state of sick withdrawal. We see him thoughtfully contemplate a junkie and, once again, shooting up is depicted in a way that makes it seem all artsy and cool. That sort of undercuts the whole "Just say no to killing people and dulling the guilt with powerful, mind-bending antipsychotics" message, I feel.
In the next scene, Lechero's lifting weights. His posse is standing around in case he happens to need a half-dozen spotters on his bench press. Michael spies on him through a window, eyeballing the phone clipped to Lechero's waist and looking like he's trying to spontaneously develop the power of telekinesis. As Lechero sits up and takes a call, Michael flashes back to ten minutes ago, when Linc handed him the Polaroid. We then get a few moments of Michael getting all angsty. Gosh, do you think he's really, really motivated to get a phone and talk to Dr. Sara?
Speaking of phone calls, Lechero's taking one from the field office, and he is not pleased when the supervisor (a.k.a. his cousin) is not immediately available for teleconferencing. The phone cuts out, and Lechero decides it's time for everyone to stop working on their biceps. He heads up to charge his phone, and T-Bag is dispatched to get Lechero's laundry. There's some back-and-forth to establish that Lechero loves how T-Bag toadies up to him with patrón this and patrón that, but boy, are Sammy and the rest of the flunkies unamused. I look forward to seeing how that will play out.
T-Bag goes tripping through the prison and gets waylaid by Michael, who menacingly says, "I think it's time you made good on all the bad you've done, Theodore." T-Bag rolls his eyes and keeps going. Michael goes on: "You and me, we're going to make a deal. Lechero has a cell phone. I need it." T-Bag acidly replies, "No problem. Shall I turn water into wine while I'm at it?" As wrong as the image is, you have to admit there's something intriguing about the idea of him launching his own label -- Left Hook Wineries? T-Bag adds, "Maybe give the guy's mother a little rogering?" Michael shoots back, "She'd be a little old for your tastes." T-Bag says, "Careful, pretty. Don't bite the hand you're trying to get fed out of." Too...many...fake...hand...jokes...forming. Must...fight.... Michael says that he would prefer a favor, and T-Bag asks for motivation. Michael provides it: "I'll let your new compadres know who you are, what you've done, and who you've done it to." T-Bag dryly says, "Let me get this straight: you're saying you're going to tell on me?" (Oh, Robert Knepper, you are the reason I have such mixed feelings about this character: I hate how implausible he is, but I love how you've made him so damn amusing to watch.) Michael replies, "This is a religious country. And I'm betting the good folks in Panama don't take too kindly to rapists and pedophiles." If the people are that religious, they shouldn't take too kindly to idol-worshippers or those who don't keep the Sabbath day. Anyway, we go to commercial with Michael smirking at T-Bag.