Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.18.2004
Since we're back in this private dining room, I have to give a Big Ol' Shout-OUT to one of my most tirelessly generous readers, JJ. A few years ago, JJ told me he was on a quest to find the Ultra-Cool Salt and Pepper Shakers for me and for him. It's a long story, but he actually ended up going to Japan to find them (he was living in Northern Europe, so, you know, it's kind of close) and then the Japanese dealer sold his two reserved sets! Not to worry, my very own set arrived this past Friday, and they. Are. Awesome! Even though they are tea strainers, I filled one with fine pepper and the other with iodized salt and danced around, shaking them over everything. I love them. I really, really love them. JJ, you're a freakin' god! Come visit. We'll drink champagne and eat oysters by the bay.
Trip waxes orgasmic over their food. He STILL hasn't learned to chew with his mouth closed or not to talk with his mouth full! "I'd almost forgotten what Chef can do with a steak," he says, breathing hard. Dude, he's acting as though he's dragging on a joint. Next thing you know, he gonna be holding it in and talking like he's suppressing a burp! Trip continues, chewing noisily, that he hopes the crew forgives him for not patching up the galley sooner. "I've heard no complaints," T'Pol says, staring down at her plate, "except from Chef, of course." "Yeah, when this is all over, I plan on having a chat with the quartermaster at Starfleet about what they put in those ration packs," Trip adds. "When this is all over, I won't be complaining about the food, I'll just be happy to get back to our original mission," Quantum says, taking the high road and making Trip feel like shit for being so shallow as to talk about the quality of the victuals. Uh, I hope you also plan on handing out a few raises, commendations, and promotions to your staff. Ass. "Hope you plan on swingin' by Earth first -- I told the Engineering team I'd buy 'em a few rounds at the six-oh-nine," Trip comments. He looks at Quantum and T'Pol and tells them they're both invited, "of course." Quantum wouldn't miss it. T'Pol doesn't say anything. "Whattabout yew?" Trip asks her. T'Pol looks up suddenly: "You...may buy me a drink, if you wish." Trip laughs and clarifies that he was asking about her plans for the future: "It's been a long time since yoove bin to Vulcin." Yeah, but with her Pa'nar Syndrome and her CRACK WHOREDOM, she's pretty much a pariah. Quantum comments that the High Command would be lucky to get her back. Didn't she pretty much resign from them and then tell them to go pohn fahrr themselves? I didn't really think it was reversible. "There are some colleagues I'd enjoy seeing again," T'Pol says, playing with her food, "but I've considered formalizing my position with Starfleet." She looks up defiantly at Quantum, daring him to comment. Trip stares at Quantum, who says he might be able to pull a few strings and get her out of basic training. Considering all the times she's saved your furrowy ass, I'd think you could do better than that! You know, considering how they're always trying to de-emphasize Starfleet's connection to the military at this point, why would there even be basic training for these yahoos? The writers are so friggin' lazy about shit like that, and I'm SICK of it! Trip grins up at the ceiling: "Can you imagine the look on Soval's face when he sees her in a Starfleet uniform?" Don't talk about her like she's not there, ass! He's just covering for how happy he is to have his girlfriend on the ship -- in or out of a Starfleet uniform. Quantum snorts in his iced tea. "Puh-leese let me be there," Trip says to his girlfriend. "I said I was considering it," T'Pol snaps. Trip just chews and grins. Reed comms Quantum that they're approaching the coordinates. Quantum's on his way.
I don't know about that scene. On the one hand, I liked the semblance of trying to return to some normalcy, and I've always loved the dinner scenes because it gave me such meat to snark on. On the other hand, it just seems so cold-blooded of them to be sitting there over their steaks and Soval-bashing when god knows what is happening to Hoshi. Aside from the few lines T'Pol and Trip got out of the way earlier, Reed's really been the only one to show a great deal of concern for her.