Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.18.2004
In some awesome effects, one of the spheres splits open with cracks of Agent Orange light. Waves of anomalies spew forth.
T'Pol reports massive anomalies forming near the weapon. An anomaly bubble passes gas through Enterprise. T'Pol leans forward in her seat slightly to avoid it. Hee -- I mean, as if that's going to help her stay out of its path! Quantum orders May-Foggy to pull back, but to keep them in firing range.
The anomalies destroy Three-Toed and Aquamen ships. One of the flying swimming pools breaks apart slowly as windows splinter and water bursts out. Nice graphic, and quite tragic.
Mr. Man comms that he and the head Three-Toed can't get through to Mega Maid.
More ships explode.
Hayes and his rescue team creep down corridors and get into a firefight with some Snake Eyes. Hayes contacts Enterprise and reports their Jessica Lynching a success. Quantum nods appreciatively at Reed and orders Trip to get a lock on the team.
In the transporter alcove, Trip reports that the anomalies caused a transporter blip, but he's working on it. Quantum comms Hayes that they've got a malfunction, and requests that he hold his position. You gotta give it to them, it took them seventy-five episodes to actually use the "transporter malfunction" thing.
A little more firefighting between Hayes's team and Snake Eyes before Hayes throws a grenade at the remaining Snake Eyes. The Snake Eyes look down and then whiz backwards and slam into a wall as the thing explodes. Why he didn't do that earlier is utterly beyond me.
A snakeling reports on Hayes's team's position, and that the anomalies have "disabled" three Aquatic ships. More like destroyed, dude. Dolum paces and says, "The Guardians will not let us fail." Especially if they remember to take their glaucoma medicine.
Trip gets the transporter sort of working, and reports to Hayes that he can only beam people out two at a time. Of course.
Hayes orders some Uh-Oh named Kelly to take Hoshi. They beam out and over. Apparently beaming through an anomaly is not a problem? Eh, whatever.
More firefighting in the corridor. Don't they have more grenades? I would think each Uh-Oh has at least two on his belt. One of the Snake Eyes actually makes a human "Uh!" as he's hit. Kind of funny. Of course the ONLY female Uh-Oh on this rescue team HAS to get injured and CARRIED back through the transporter by a male Uh-Oh. Pigs.
Hayes is now alone. He tells Trip, "I could use a change of scenery!" Seriously, Trip, hurry up! Then Hayes does something supremely stupid. Instead of staying right where he was, protected by a bulkhead, and thus allowing Trip to beam him out mortal-wound-free, he backs into the middle of the corridor. Straight into the line of fire! It's not like he had to move into position for the beam out when Kelly and Hoshi were beamed out right next to him! What an idiot -- Hayes is clearly too dumb to live. He turns around to finds a snakeling on his tail. Hayes starts to dematerialize as the Snake Eyes fires at him. Right through the chest. Hayes arrives on the pad, and after a second he grabs at his chest and starts groaning. He falls to the floor and writhes a bit. Trip runs to his side. Back off, dude, that's Reed's place.