Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.18.2004
The Golden Girls are back! They thank each other for being a friend. For traveling 'round the world and back again. And if they threw a party and invited everyone they knew, they would see the biggest gift would be from them and the card attached would say, "Thank you for being a friend." The Golden Girls are disturbed by the fluctuating timelines mostly favoring the humans. "Then the time has come to intervene," St. Spheridian intones.
Snake ship. Dolum asks if there's a problem as he approaches the console. "Quite the opposite," a snakeling says. Dolum walks around and asks eagerly, "The third launch code?" They now have complete access. "It appears the primate was useful after all," Dolum says, and orders her taken back to her cell. Hoshi now has another massive bug bite on the other temple. I think the snakelings should let her put some toothpaste on that.
Quantum cheese-log-rolled-in-nutses that they are preparing to enter the vortex with some help from the Aquatics. We get shots of busywork all over the ship. "Enterprise may be coming apart at the seams, but I can't say the same for the crew. After nearly eight months in the Expanse, they're ready to do what they came to do. No matter what it takes, to matter what the cost." End cheese.
Smaller ships fly around the massive Aquamen vessel. Three enter the vortex.
Reed checks in with Uh-Oh Hayes in the Armory to make sure he's assembled his boarding party. In a put-upon tone of voice, Hayes confirms that he has and refuses to look at Reed. "I only wish I was leading it myself," Reed comments impotently. "Your place is on the Bridge, sir," Hayes says flatly, and walks to stroke another gun. Reed darts a look around and trails Hayes. "No offense, Major, it's just that Ensign Sato is a friend," Reed says, somehow being really, really thick about the subtext they are hammering into this scene with a durtanium two-by-four. He hands over his report on Dead Stripe. Hayes takes it and thanks him, still without wanting to look up and see the love shining out of Reed's eyes. Hayes asks if he wants to go over his rescue plan. "First I want to know if we have a problem," Reed fusses, his arms crossed. Reed decided he couldn't challenge Quantum in the Furrowing category, so he's taking on the 400-Yard Squint. Hayes finally looks at him: "Sir?" Reed wonders if Hayes blames him for Dead Stripe's death. Hayes shakes his head, grinds his teeth, and asks, "Permission to speak freely?"
Reed nods. "I've never liked putting my people under someone else's command. You're senior tactical officer, but they're MY team and I can't help but think that if I had been there, things might have turned out differently." "I did everything I could," Reed breathes heavily, "things happened very fahst." "I understand that, but I'm better than you -- remember I'm still speaking freely!" Hayes may or may not have said all of that. Reed insists that he be allowed to finish, even though they're talking on Hayes' dime: "Hawkins may well have been a MACO but he was my --" "SON! BROTHER! LOVER!" the Evil Dr. Mathra shouts. "Responsibility out there," Reed the Boring finishes. He does a weird twisty thing with his mouth and head as he seems to dare Hayes to notice that he just ate all his lip gloss off. Hayes decides to get it all out, and adds that the MACOs felt like outsiders when they first came aboard. Not Not'pol -- she made herself feel right at home. In Trip's pants. "If I contributed to that, I'm sorry," Reed snits. "If"? There's no "if" about it, freakshow -- you've had more problems with the Uh-Ohs than my parents have back issues of National Geographic! "None of us feel that way anymore," Hayes reassures him, looking deep, deep into his eyes. Oh, for crying out loud -- just KISS ALREADY! Hayes goes on that no matter what uniform they wear, they're all part of the same crew, so Reed shouldn't worry about Hoshi. Like Jessica Lynch, they'll bring her home. But maybe it will be a real rescue this time and not just a staged political stunt. Reed nods and goes to pick out their china pattern and finger tulle. Malcolm has already decided on a satin pillbox hat confection while Hayes -- ever the traditionalist -- has his little heart set on a cathedral-length veil with a blusher. Of course, this little "making peace" scene is just like the one between Degra and Trip, so we know Hayes is DOOMED.
Captain's Mess. Porthos stares up at Quantum, wondering how easy it would be to sever his jugular -- would it take one bite or two? Porthos whines, and Quantum gives him a bit of food and fondles his ears.