Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Road Trip
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 03.16.1998
Dawson struts back into the bar. Billy asks why he's back, and surmises: "You couldn't pull the trigger." To his credit, Dawson doesn't disabuse him of this notion, and simply replies, "Guess not." Billy remarks that Dawson practically had Nina "begging for it." (Uh, not on the director's cut that made it to air, but whatever.) Billy gives him a piece of advice about getting "laid" (according to the closed captions) or getting "lucky" (according to the soundtrack. Apparently it "comes down to a simple Beatles/Stones question....Do you want to hold her hand, or do you want to spend the night together?" In the case of Billy, it's a simple Spice Girls answer: "What part of 'no' don't you understand? I want a man, not a boy who thinks he can." Dawson dismissively says he'll keep that in mind. Pacey can sense the tension brewing and suggests that they leave, but not soon enough, because Billy tells Dawson that, watching him with Nina, he could tell how Dawson blew it with Jen. Dawson blows up and yells, "I don't get you!" Poor Pacey rolls his eyes. Dawson tells Billy that he knows Billy came to Capeside to break up Dawson and Jen, and having successfully done so, he supposes that Billy is now pouting because things didn't go according to plan. Billy: "What?" Dawson: "You think I don't know why you wanted me to get lucky tonight? So you could go whisper in Jen's ear, convince her that all men are dogs, and then assume that she'd seek your comfort." Billy: "For all that wisdom, you sure bit hard." Heh. Dawson: "Hard enough to know that it's not my style, man -- it's yours. And frankly, your style is pathetic. If you really had Jen's best interests at heart, you would stay away from her." Billy says that those are the exact words Jen's dad used when he told Billy he was going to send Jen away. Dawson says that sounding like Jen's dad is better than sounding like "her loser ex-boyfriend." Billy essentially says "Whatever" and tells them that, since they obviously don't need a loser like him hanging around, they can find their own way home. Dawson watches Billy leave with a stricken look. D'oh! Pacey smirks at Dawson's lack of foresight and says, "Um, do you think you could have waited until we were back in Capeside to throw out that last zinger, Dawson?" Good point, because, um, infants could have seen that plot twist coming.
Joey waits for Warren near his locker. Joey: "Hey, loverboy. Spare a minute?" Warren looks disgusted, and whines, "You know, it's been a really long day." Joey: "Oh, my heart bleeds." Wing Chun: "I'd say, 'you made your bed: now lie in it,' but I hear you're not very good at that." Warren: "Look, I know you're not too thrilled with me, but here's an idea. One way to get rid of a lie is to make it the truth, so maybe you and me --" Wing Chun: "Oh, Mylanta." Joey: "You know, I'm afraid I'd be getting worked up for something I hear is quite the anti-climax." Wing Chun: "Zing!" Warren: [dumb incomprehension] Joey: "Your reviews are in, Warren. And frankly, you've been panned." Warren: "So what is this, some kind of sophomore threat?" Joey: "No, just a reminder that if one person says something, it's a rumour. But two people -- gospel. But you're probably not planning on dating everyone ever again, so...." Warren realizes that she's got him by the short and flaccid, so he asks what she wants. She demands "complete and utter denial," to which he immediately agrees, adding: "Just so you know, the reason I picked you up this morning was because I thought it would be nice, you know....Saturday night I have plans, but they're breakable. What do you say? In public, official, groping-optional date." This guy must be heavily medicated. Or dangerously stupid. One or the other. Joey says, "Yeah. Just pick me up after my lobotomy." Avez-vous vu la vieille Joey? Elle me manque.