Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Road Trip
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 03.16.1998
Dawson walks to school and comes upon Billy's car, with Billy stretched out on the hood, eating an apple. Huh? Dawson advances on him with all the menace his Oompa-Loompish self can muster and whines, "You know, I'm beginning to doubt your sincerity when you tell me you're leaving." Ooh! That'll teach him to step on your turf! Billy climbs off the car and tells Dawson he's just the man Billy's been looking for. Dawson asks what he can offer this time: "A place to stay? Or just another chance to completely screw up my life?" Billy says, "You know, despite outward apparances, you and I actually have a lot in common." Oh, for God's sack. Dawson says, "Right. We both got our hearts broken by the same girl. But you know what? Jen didn't flee the state to get away from me." Billy replies, "Give her time." Ha!
Then he ruins it by trying to channel the doubting voices in Dawson's enormous head: "Man, if I lived fifty yards away from her, I swear to you, I'd go insane. I'd stare up at her window wondering what she's doing. She's talking on the phone -- who is she talking to? And if she's listening to music, who do those songs remind her of? Does she still think about me?" Dawson proves how little attention someone has to pay him in order to get on his good side, and completes Billy's thought: "And if so, does she think about me half as much as I think about her?" Billy says, "See? Common ground." Dawson turns back. All is forgiven. Please -- this guy needs a course in holding a grudge. Billy says that the good news is there's a simple cure for all of this. Dawson asks what. Billy says, "Jen is a great girl, but last time I checked she wasn't the only one. What are you, unconvinced? Look, take a little ride with me and let me illustrate my point." "Take a ride where?" Dawson asks, his native suspicion returning. Billy says, "Providence. There's this club there -- a bit of a dive, but absolutely remarkable in one respect: it lies exactly equidistant between a pair of women's colleges. Co-eds wall-to-wall, Dawson." "Co-eds"? What is Billy, from the '40s? ["Or Matt from Real World Hawaii?" -- Sars] Dawson asks if he'll be able to get in. Billy says he knows the bouncer. Without much conviction, Dawson says, "Of course, there's school..." Billy asks, "And what's waiting for you there? Another day wondering about Jenny? Where she is, when you'll see her next? What football player is she having lunch with?" "You made your point," Dawson snaps, and adds, "And you know what? You're right. This is exactly what I need: to get away from her. To get away from here. You know what? She's going to freak when I'm not there. It'd be good to let her wonder about me for a while." Wow, what an unexpected turn of events! Good thing Billy isn't the kind of person to propose this plan with an ulterior motive. No, wait. My bad. He's the opposite of that.