Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Road Trip
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 03.16.1998
Back at The Pool Room (whatever), Billy is informing Dawson that Pacey had his eye on three girls because Pacey knows "it's all about numbers...Play the odds. Don't waste time. You'll know within fifteen seconds whether a woman wants to see you naked." Gosh, that must mean every one of Dawson's days is made up of over two thousand rejections. He tells Dawson that if the answer (to the Dawson/nudity question) is no (really, no "if" there), Dawson should "bail," and that's why Dawson should have ten women in line, just in case nine say no. Or something. Given Dawson's prospects, it really isn't worthwhile paying full attention to that kind of talk. One of Pacey's targets walks by just then, and Pacey wanders off all horndog, asking Dawson and Billy to wish him luck. Billy continues to pressure Dawson into putting the moves on some poor, soon-to-be-nauseated woman. Dawson glances around dispiritedly until his gaze alights on a curly-haired brunette wearing a Film Threat t-shirt. Oh, please. "Found her," Dawson says, and charges toward her. Hey, Film Threat! Raisin Bran at two o'clock! He taps her on the shoulder. She turns around. She's thirty-five if she's a day and has pooka shells in her hair. He stammers, "Hi. My name...my name is Dawson." She says, "Oh, you're Dawson! Wow! Yeah! All right! Good to know." She turns back to her companion, laughing at Dawson while he silently curses his own ineptitude behind her.
Pacey approaches an underage-looking blonde and tells her, "I'm a drummer for Pearl Jam." She replies, "You're dumber than who?" He slinks away.
Dawson taps Film Threat on the shoulder again and says, "Look, I just want to let you that I completely understand the absurdity of this moment. I actually thought of sending over a drink or saying something clever, and what's your sign? You know, I figured directness would be the best approach, i.e. 'My name is Dawson' -- not that my name in and of itself should impress you, but kind of in the hopes that you might, in response, tell me your name." Run away! Run away! Film Threat drawls, "Did it occur to you that maybe I'm just not interested?" Shot through the heart! And you're to blame! You give bar skanks a good name! Dawson deflates, and sighs, "Uh. No, actually. But blind optimism is one of my faults." Film Threat simpers, "One of your faults? Do you have many?" Okay, lady, I totally see where you're coming from, but there's no need to carry on the conversation once you've basically ripped off the guy's balls and fed them to him, in public. Let him go try to lick his tiny wounds. Dawson says, "Let's see, there's my reckless disregard for danger. My tiresome romanticism. And then there's the way I keep on talking long after the person I'm trying to impress has lost all interest." Dude, realistically, that was, like, five minutes ago. But since this is a TV show, Film Threat says, "My name is Nina. And if you ask where Pinta and Santa Maria are, I am so out of here." Dawson beams at her with flop-sweaty self-satisfaction.
Having been shot down, Pacey reconnoiters with Billy. They both watch Dawson trying to mack on Nina. Pacey comments, "Damn! That girl's fine!" Yeah, for someone's mom, she is.