Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Road Trip
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 03.16.1998
Back in Milwaukee, the Fonz is taking Richie and Potsie...no, sorry, my bad. The lads are still on the ferry, and Pacey is telling Dawson, "You know when cartoon characters are trying to make a decision, and a good angel pops up on one shoulder, and you've got the little devil on the other?...Well, I don't have a good angel, Dawson. I have you." Dawson says he's not interested in "the gig." "Gig"? Billy says, "I swear to God, you two sound like my parents." He glances over a railing at a couple of guys rocking a car with an anxious old lady inside, and says he's going to go "see what the Deliverance twins are up to." Pacey says, "Need I remind you again of the ill-fated toilet-papering of Coach Roland's house?" Dawson says, "There you go again, equating fun with youthful indiscretions." Pacey says, "'Youthful indiscretions'? What am I, running for the Senate? Okay, granted, Dawson, for high-minded conversation, you're the man. But generally speaking, you're better at verbiage than actual verbs." Rightly, Dawson asks, "Verbs?" Pacey says, "Yeah, action words. 'Revel.' 'Carouse.' 'Party.'" Dawson asks what year it was that "party" became a verb. Pacey says it was the year they entered high school: "You're just going to have to trust me on this one Sometimes friendship means taking part in stupid stuff. No judgments, no questions asked, and no deconstruction afterward." Dawson asks, with typical lack of self-awareness, "You don't think I'm capable of that?" Pacey says, "Let's just say I've seen no evidence to the contrary." I think he meant to say, "I've seen no evidence that you are [capable of that]," but whatever. Billy returns from his fact-finding mission to say that he doesn't like "those guys down there; they're harassing everyone from the seagulls to the senior citizens." Cut back to the same image we saw before, of a couple of hillbillies menacing the old lady's car. Pacey suggests that they treat them to a little "instant karma: maybe a banana in the tailpipe?" Billy says he was thinking they could just slash the hillbillies' tires. Dawson says, "Well, that's imaginative." Billy asks if Dawson has a better idea. Pacey says he'd love to see that. Dawson asks if they've seen American Graffiti. What, he's going to cruise these guys to death?
Back at school, Abby "Don't Get Too Attached" Morgan greets Joey as "Mrs. Warren Garry." Sadly, Joey says, "So you know." Abby says, "Well, it is news. And this is high school." Joey starts to fake-cry and says, "He swore he wouldn't tell, Abby. He told me he loved me." Abby says, "$100,000 Pyramid: Things Guys Say in the Back Seat." Joey says, "Yeah, well, you can add 'We Don't Need Protection' to that list." Abby starts to look concerned. Joey covers her face and says, "I am so stupid." Abby says, "Wait, what are you saying?" Joey starts to tell her story: "Well, he started off, you know, just calling all the time. He'd be so sweet. And one time he won me this stuffed frog at Coney Island and brought it back for me. The first time we made love, he cried." Incredulously, Abby asks, "Warren Garry?" Joey nods and says, "That was before the pee strip turned blue." "Blue?" Abby asks. Joey nods. Abby slams the door and asks, "Do you know what that means?" Joey says, "Yes, I do. Abby hisses, "You're pregnant?!" Joey querulously says, "I know!" Abby asks if Warren knows. Joey says, "He told all his friends it was my problem and mine only." "That little puke!" says Abby indignantly. Joey shrugs and nods. "That sorry puke!" Abby repeats, and stalks out. Joey smirks. (What else is new?)