Episode Report Card Niki: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Acting Out
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2001
Meanwhile, Jessie's on stage in the middle of her audition for Phoebe. As she reads, A.J. leans over the back of Grace's seat and asks, "So this is your half-sister, right?" Grace clarifies that Jessie's her stepsister. A.J. insists, "You're so going to get Rosalind." "You think?" Grace asks, trying to be cool about it. "Well, it's between you and Cynthia," A.J. amends, nodding his head toward a curly-haired girl a row back. Creepitri catches a whiff of their whispering and casts a disapproving eye in their direction. Grace looks sufficiently chastised. Creepitri abruptly cuts off Jessie with a curt "thank you," and tells her to stay right there. He then finishes making the announcement he started earlier: he wants to add folk music to the play. "Yep, the music of weird, old America," he smarms. Okay, you're not old enough to be part of "weird, old America," so quit making with the quaint self-deprecation. Oh, and isn't this a convenient development, besides. "How great is that?" he asks, beaming at his own brilliance. From the look on Grace's face, it's as great as being asked to striptease and lapdance for the principal at a school assembly. A.J. protests that nobody warned them they'd have to sing. "I know," Creepitri cackles. Grace, panicked, asks if they have to sing right then, "like, today." Creepitri makes his way up the aisle, handing out song sheets, and says they'll work backwards in order of the auditions. Which means that Jessie gets to go first. She smiles uncertainly and asks, "You want me to sing? I don't think I know any of these." Creepitri tells her to sing anything. Jessie flips through the pages and finds a song she "kind of know[s] from camp." Creepitri tells her just to sing whatever she's comfortable with. Like he cares about her comfort.
Jessie starts belting out the song, and of course, she sounds incredible. Grace sits and stews. If this were an audition for a Tums commercial, she'd nail it. Creepitri pulls himself out of his slouch to sit up and take notice of the little girl with the big, big pipes. Jessie wraps it up, and Creepitri smiles widely, throwing his arms wide and chuckling with pleasant surprise. "I love it!" he exclaims. Cynthia raises a worried hand and calls, "Mr. Dimitri?" He rises out of his seat and to answer her impatiently. Her voice almost cracking, Cynthia whines (in the form of a question), "I have to say I think this is totally unfair that we have to do this like this?" He patronizingly asks how she would like to do it, then. Grace chimes in that they should be given time to practice, at least, and that it's unreasonable for him to assume that everyone would be comfortable just singing "like that." She waves a bitter hand toward Jessie on the stage. Creepitri notes that Grace seems to feel pretty strongly about it. She says she thinks they all do. Everyone nods in agreement. "Fair enough," Creepitri says, clasping his hands together. "I'm not a complete sadist. Yet. Those of you who get called back should be prepared to sing one of these songs. Those of you who don't get called back should learn these songs regardless, for your own enrichment." Wanker.