Episode Report Card Niki: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Acting Out
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2001
We open in the kitchen at Manning Manor. It's a full house with everyone rushing around as Lily throws together another take-out dinner. She says she thinks the deli-roasted chickens look pretty good, and Rick pecks her cheek, teasing, "What, no garnish?" Jessie asks whether they're free-range birds, and Eli asks why it matters, since she's a vegetarian. Zoe pipes up that she's thought of becoming a vegetarian, but she "really like[s] bacon." That is a moral dilemma. Desperate to get away from the pork-loving pain-in-the-ass, Jessie asks Eli when he's going to be ready to move into the garage. Apparently, the renovations are almost complete, and he just has to wait for the paint to dry. Jessie smiles winsomely and asks whether he'll help her move her stuff into the attic. Eli dubiously says he'll think about it.
Grace comes rushing into the kitchen clutching a book, and plows right into Eli. I'm sure it gives her tingles. Grace asks Lily whether she may eat in her room. "Oh, I thought we'd all eat together," Lily says, beaming à la June Cleaver. Lily's dream of a nice family nosh disintegrates as Rick pipes up that he "was going to watch the match on TV," and Grace says that she "really need[s] to read this play again," since the drama club's auditions are the next day. Jessie's radar blips at the mention of the auditions. Eli mutters that he has to get to work, and paws at one of the chickens, dismembering a drumstick for the road. Jessie asks Grace which play they're doing. It's Shakespeare's As You Like It. Jessie then asks what the auditions are like. Grace rummages around in the fridge and, with an eye-roll, complains, "Well, normally, you'd prepare a soliloquy or something, but Mr. Dimitri wants us to do it spontaneously, which is so not acting." Considering all the soliloquies these people do, it also wouldn't be fair to the other kids. Jessie says, "Oh, so you have to memorize the whole thing?" "Pretty much," Grace says, looking less than thrilled. "That's what I'd do," Jessie confirms. This gets Lily's attention, and she asks Jessie whether she's thinking of auditioning. Startled, Jessie says she's not. Lily prods, "Well, why don't you audition, if you want to? I bet you'd be great." She and Rick shoot Jessie encouraging looks, while Grace sulks in the background and makes a pitiful bid for attention by asking whether there's any bread. Rick agrees that Jessie should try out. Jessie's embarrassed by the attention and, smiling bashfully, says she doesn't know. Grace half-heartedly smiles and says that Jessie should try out. "It's fun," she adds, with as much enthusiasm as someone might exhibit while describing a pap smear. Grace has had enough of watching them prop up Jessie, so she plows up next to Lily and sharply asks, "Mom? Where's the bread?" Lily silently hands the bag to her. Grace snarks a biting "Thanks," and shoots Lily an extra-long stink-eye to be sure she gets the point. Lily gets it, all right. Too bad she doesn't get that her eldest spawn is a beeyatch.