Episode Report Card Erin: D+ | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Whirligig of Death and Destruction
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.15.2005
While he's looking, Cliff asks The Nose what it plans to do with its new purchase. The Nose isn't really interested in answering Cliff's question because it's far too busy drinking out of a glass of red wine even though, just one second ago, it was snorting up a nice icy martini. Way to go, continuity. Of course, considering that this entire scene was actually shot for "Authorized Personnel Only," I wouldn't be surprised to see random shots of Nadia dancing the tango or Weiss stumbling through on his way to the bathroom or a wildebeest wearing a Marilyn Monroe wig and trailing a string of tin cans with "JUST MARRIED" spray-painted on its left flank. It's a mess, is all I'm saying.
So, yeah, whatever, Cliff shows Syd some chip he has and says that it's his "way out." Dix, meanwhile, isn't finding anything on the Random Dude at the back of the restaurant. Cliff tells Syd that, with this sale, he can buy a whole new life. Oh, well, he could have bought a whole new life if Random Dude hadn't up and shot him in the head. Random Dude shoots at Vaughn and Syd, grabs the chip, and then runs off into the kitchen. Vaughn gets him in the shoulder and he goes down. Vaughn and Syd run into the kitchen with their guns pointed. Random Dude just blabbles something about how "he" won't get him or his family and how he's not gonna be made an example of and then he grabs a butcher knife and Syd, instead of shooting his hand or something, just gasps, "Put down the knife." Yeah. Because guns aren't USEFUL in situations like this, SYDNEY. Random Dude slices his own throat, and Syd and her horrifically large proboscis look disgusted. Or disgusting. One or the other.
Apple Store. Syd's meeting up with the Spy Daddies. They fill her in on the chip they recovered in Paris. It contains info about some next-gen sniper weapon being made in a facility in Austria. Apparently, it can target in on someone using their DNA information or a biometric scan (I missed that "biometric scan" shit the first time I watched this episode, and I imagine that it'll come in handy later on when the Toy Copter of Chaos shows up -- but I'm getting ahead of myself…). Sloane wants Syd to head to Salzburg and retrieve the thing. Syd wants to know about the guy who sliced his throat. Sloane says that he was sent to intercept the sale and that he killed himself to protect his family from his employer. I know. It makes no sense. Get used to it. Because this episode is all about the no-sense-making.
Random Dead Dude's boss is (was) Sasha Korjev. Jack gets this look on his face like, "Oh, shit. That guy?" Syd doesn't know the name, so Jack fills her in. Sasha's a really, really bad dude. He runs arms to Angola, Rwanda, and Sierra Leone and keeps a very tight rein on his men. Among his tactics is leveraging the lives of their families. So, you know, do the job right or your family dies. I'd go more with profit sharing and a nice 401K plan, but hey, I'm not a murderous monster. Syd surmises that it's Sasha who's developing the DNA weapon. Sloane confirms this, and says that Dix is being tasked with locating Sasha and then reporting his whereabouts to the CIA proper. Jack steps in and says, "I have a liaison with the Angolan chancery in D.C. Put Dixon on something else." Sloane just…looks at him. "You want to take this on?" "For the sake of expediency," clips Jack. Heh. Syd's all, uh, what's going on here? Jack just shoots her a look. Sloane's all, all righty then. It's yours, Jackie. Jack just tersely nods. Sloane looks at Syd and says, "Good luck in Salzburg," thereby dismissing her. Hee hee hee. The Spy Daddies are totally up to no good. Love that.