Episode Report Card Erin: D+ | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Whirligig of Death and Destruction
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 03.15.2005
Upstairs, Syd and the guards are all looking for Sam. Syd gets to him first, imploring him to leave with her. He's all, what about the boyfriend? She's all, he has too many forehead wrinkles. Now you? You I like. Sam hedges, saying he doesn't get off for another hour, so Syd takes matters into her own hands and plants a huge kiss on his lips. Heh. She pulls back. "If you don't leave with me RIGHT NOW, you will regret it," she says. Sam's all, uh, yeah, now that you mention it, we could totally leave by the back door, right? Syd's all, now yer talkin'! They run off before the guards see them.
As Syd and Sam run from the bar, Syd contacts the Apple Store. Nadia tells her that the shipping yard is thirty miles outside of Salzburg. Syd responds that she has an in-country contact, and Sloane orders her to get the contact to supply her for the mission. Sam doesn't seem to be hearing any of this. Nor does he notice that Syd is TALKING INTO HER WRIST. Sloane wants Syd to secure the weapon before it leaves the port. Sam wants Syd to go with him to a wine bar. Syd wants Sam to realize that she's TALKING INTO HER WRIST. Sam's all, wow! Small phone! Like, dude? She keeps pressing on her ear and talking into her SLEEVE about weapons and ports and in-country contacts! I know you're hard up but PLEASE. Try to pay attention here!
Syd fills in the home team on the Sam situation. Sloane recommends that Syd drop her human luggage with her contact and the CIA will have him shipped home. Syd turns to Sam and says that there's something she has to tell him. He's all, you're having second thoughts, aren't you? Syd's all, seriously, no. Sam's all, dammit! Why do I always get the girls with boyfriends? "Forget about the boyfriend," Syd says in this hysterically dry tone. Hee. Sam's all, okay, well, even though you have a boyfriend, can we just go to my place and talk? I mean, it's messy, but I'd just like to talk to someone who doesn't speak German. Syd's all, YOU MUST FOCUS. "You can never go back to your place," she says. Sam's like, whuh? Syd then launches into this mildly funny explanation of their current situation and it involves the repeated use of the word "bad" and it's like she's trying to explain to a cocker spaniel that the woods are a no-no and he can never go in there because it's a bad bad BAD place, do you hear her, BAD. Sam's all, wait, what? Syd's all, I stole your card. Sam's all, wait, WHAT? Syd's all, they think you're working with me, dude. Sam's all, NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT?
"Who the hell are you?" he finally asks. "I need you to trust me right now," says Syd. "Oh, is that what you need?" says Sam. "That's…real nice for you. I gotta get back to work, so, later!" Or something like that. Syd's all, dude? If you go back there, they will kill you. Sam's all, you're serious, aren't you? Syd's all, stick with me, kid, I'll protect you. "We have ways of dealing with these situations." Sam's all, what's with the WE shit? Syd's all, can't tell you that. Sam's all, dude? TELL ME SOMETHING REAL. Syd's all, dude. Can you just get with the program so we can get ON WITH THE SHOW ALREADY? Sam's all, how do I know you're not a bad guy. "If I was one of the bad guys," says Syd, borrowing from every Bruce Willis movie, like, ever, "you'd already be dead."