Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 1953 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I Will Be Your Father Issues
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 2009.04.15
Hurley keeps going. "So you two have been here for three years now. Must be pretty tight, huh?" I wait for Miles to snap, "Why, because we're Asian?" but instead, he just says that he and the good douche-ster don't travel in the same circles. Chang's sort of adorably clueless when he says, "I wasn't aware there were circles." Not even the Circle of Trust? Huh. I knew that was a hippie concoction. Hurley suggests they all get together for a beer sometime, and then Miles has to drive blind, because his eyes have rolled out of his head, jumped out the window, and back to the Orchid, found the well, thrown themselves in, pushed the frozen donkey wheel, and returned to SoCal, circa 2009. Chang doesn't answer. Instead, he asks Miles to stop the van for a moment. He hops out and approaches a gate disguised by vines and pushes it open to reveal yet another construction site. The SWAN! Once he's back in the van, they drive through the gates; the guard waves them on. Miles parks beside the big dig. Chang hops out and tells them not to wait. He'll catch a ride back with Radzinsky. The wee Miles who's been hanging out on my purple Swingline stapler says, Aren't you even going to kiss me goodbye, Daddy? Chang can't hear you, dear, but don't worry. I bet he'll buy you a present.
As Hurley climbs up front, he wonders what they're building and "what's with all the secrecy?" Miles says he neither knows nor cares, yet he doesn't drive off in a hurry. One construction worker asks another, "Hey Glen, what's the serial number that goes on the hatch lid?" Glen reads out the numbers from a list as the first guy stamps them into the lid: "4, 8... 15, 16, 23..." He can't make out the last number; it's smudged. Hurley, quietly, so that only Miles can hear him, says, "42." Glen says, "42," and the worker completes the last stamp. Miles says, "How the hell did you know that?" Hurley says, "'Cause they're building our hatch." Miles asks what hatch he means. Hurley says, "The one that crashed our plane." Dun.
Mainland; Nighttime; 2004ish: Miles leaves La Vida Tacos with a Styrofoam container containing... I'm going to go out on a limb and say a soft-shell taco of some sort. Styrofoam?! He needs Hurley. He's not thinking about the environment. At all. As he makes his way past a hair salon, a van pulls up and Bram (the meathead with Ilana when she brained our poor Frank) calls out the passenger window, "Hey, Miles." Miles says, "Do I know you?" and two masked, hooded men jump out of the back, and grab Miles, knocking his food and that nasty Styrofoam container to the ground. That's not biodegradable, you goons. Also, do not harm the Miles. I love him. They slam the door and the van screeches off. Bram turns around, introduces himself and does a little three-fingered wave, which makes no sense, but sort of makes me reevaluate my "meathead" assessment of Bram. Miles snarks because he is, and is because he snarks, so his only response to all of this is, "You owe me a fish taco." That sounds dirty, Miles. I'm sorry, but it does.