Episode Report Card Sars: D | 5 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Detention
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 03.02.1998
I won't run out and buy Lipton iced tea or anything, but I do love that Junior Brown.
Back at the library, Chris Noth rips my shirt off with his teeth as -- oh, sorry, I must have nodded off for a second there. Back at the library, Joey contemplates her recently completed lip-lock with Dawson, and Abby prods her to take her turn. Joey chooses Jen, who stares at Joey resentfully and says "truth" very quietly, and Joey asks her, "Okay -- out of all the guys at Capeside, is Dawson the one you're most attracted to?" Jen says irritably, "Do I like Dawson the most? Yeah, of course, I --" Joey cuts her off: "No, I didn't ask you if you liked him the best, I asked you if he's the one you're most attracted to." Dawson, standing between the two girls, stares back and forth at each of them like he's watching a tennis match. Joey stares expectantly at Jen, and Jen waffles, "Well, what do you mean 'attracted to'?" and an offended Dawson bursts out, "She means attracted, like physically attracted," and Joey adds, "Yeah, is he the guy you're hottest for -- when you look at Dawson, do you want to just jump his bones? Or is it that you like his personality the best, but in terms of lust you'd rather boink someone else? I don't know, someone like -- Pacey?" Um, Joey? Could you not use phrases like "jump his bones" and "boink" in relationship to Dawson? Because I just hurled up everything I've eaten since college. Thanks. Jen says, not very convincingly, "No, I like Dawson," but Joey won't let it go: "Yeah, but do you lust for him?" Jen, nearly in tears: "It's a stupid question." Dawson, aggrieved: "Why is it a stupid question?" Nostrils a-weigh!
Pacey butts in that he has no problem with the question, but Jen stammers, "It's a stupid question because, it's -- it's a stupid question because" -- Dawson stares at her -- "because the answer is, is yes, all right? Obviously the answer is yes. I lust for Dawson, okay? I'm hot for Dawson. Are you happy, Joey?" Joey gives Jen a look that could kill, and Jen sputters, "And maybe if you spent less time -- ah, forget about it," and Joey prods her to say what she has to say, she can handle it, and Dawson starts to intercede as Jen snaps, "Maybe if you spent less time dwelling on me and Dawson, you'd have a boyfriend of your own," and as they used to say backstage on The Muppet Show, the pig's got a point. Joey responds with a deeply sarcastic rant on how much she'd love to go out with one of the jockstraps at Capeside -- implying by doing so that she doesn't need a man in her life, while Jen does -- and Abby calls Joey a lesbian, and Joey snarls, "Yeah, I wish I was [sic] a lesbian, and Jen, I'm not dwelling on your relationship with Dawson, so just get over yourself." Joey stomps off, upset, and Jen closes her eyes and regrets what she said -- although, much as I like Old Joey, she needed to hear that -- and Dawson leans his head against a bookshelf before suggesting a "jailbreak" with much false cheer and bravado. Like, buck up, little campers! He grabs Jen's hand and they take off running, followed reluctantly by Abby, Pacey, and Joey.