Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss Me, Ingrate
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Keckler: Not in that role she doesn't. Plus? I've never heard of a cheaper device to get a character's shirt off. "Ew! You may die, now take your clothes off so we can have sex in a pathetic attempt to boost our asthmatic ratings."
Mathra: Okay -- I'm getting YOU another beer.
Keckler: Can we bring beer to Nemesis? I'm really scared we might need it. Desperately.
Trip continues to argue that it's not the right time in the script to have sex until Pod White puts it all into perspective for him: "You're my ON-ly hope of sur-VIVING here, Mr. Tucker I don't IN-tend to let you die." I really wish she would stop talking now. Trip takes off his shirt and lets Pod White put antiseptic on him. Interesting that when Connor Trinneer took off his shirt, it was a wide-angle shot, but then he tied his shirt around his waist -- thus hiding the bulk that appears to be there -- for the close-ups. Vanity, thy name is personal trainer. Pod White doesn't think their supplies will last them for longer than twenty-four hours. Trip looks around: "Sounds like there's plenty of wildlife -- I grew up in a place kinda like this." Okay, how MANY more times is he going to find a way to say that? I've amended last episode's recipe. This time, take out one-quarter teaspoon of Shut Up, Trip and replace it with five cups of SHUT UP, TRIP! Trip doesn't think they're going to starve; he had ideas for laying waste to the sh'pod and making it useful. Trip looks over his shoulder as Pod White patches it, and he thanks her. "YOU-'re wel-COME," Pod White says triumphantly. Oooo, go her -- she put a Band-Aid and silver cream on him, she's so liberated now.
Pod White slogs though the swamp water to toss some twigs at Trip's feet. "That's the best you culd do?" he asks. "THERE'S very LITTLE dry WOOD!" Pod White announces. Trip tells her to keep looking. Pod White pouts on a log. Trip wants to know if she's waiting for the dry wood fairy to come along, and Pod White tells him she's not his servant: "YOU'RE the one who was RAISED in a PRIM-itive env-I-ronment. YOU find the WOOD." Trip wants to know what exactly she's driving at, and Pod White insults his non-purple-pimperneled butt. I think it's the fact that it doesn't have the purple pimpernel that's the insulting part. Although she could be wrong -- there might be many things on his butt that could pass as a purple pimpernel, but nothing that a little balm won't clear up. I'm only ranting to cover up the fact that Trip just called himself "the king of the swamp." I guess it's better than Commander Pewp. Pod White throws a very limp right at Trip, he blocks it, they both end up in the water, back on shore she manages to expose lots of thigh, and they start making out. Much of the camera angle is from behind Pod White's head, so we get a full view of Trip's make-out face -- I'm telling you, folks, it's ain't pretty.
Next scene is a dying campfire -- they stopped to make a fire before having the sex? Last we heard, he didn't have any wood. I guess the point is, you can make a fire with any kind of wood -- with Trip in his Blue Tick underoos curled around Pod White. I always crack up at the idea that people on television put their clothes back on to cuddle after sex when they know they're going to have to get up suddenly to get the door, the phone, or avoid being shot. Trip gets up to pour out some boiling water, and Pod White turns over in her sleep. In this light, her dress no longer looks pink; it looks grey, and the fabric looks more like spandex jersey rather than whatever it was before. It's definitely a different dress, because there are no rips in this grey spandex jersey one -- why do they do that? Trip hears a beeping, which also rouses Pod White so that we can see her tumbled-down hair -- didn't I predict that? I just hope they found a safe place for all her Swarovski crystal bobby pins. Those things are expensive. I'll bet there were some major bets placed on the set to determine who was skinnier -- Jolene or Padma. Interesting that they don't ever appear in any scenes together. Now that her hair is down and the dress is hiked up to her Delaware, Pod White is definitely emitting a "me Jane, Trip Tarzan" quality which marries well with Trip's suddenly hairy chest. Was it waxed in earlier episodes? Trip locates the source of the beep on the hull of their escape pod, rips it out, and bashes it beepless. Must be a homing beacon. Pod White joins him and asks what the deal is, and Trip explains what I just said. Now I can see that the thing she's got on is actually a slip. So either we're supposed to believe she brought that in her overnight bag, or she was wearing it under her dress. I'm not totally sure of the first, but there is no way she was wearing it under her dress -- it's got spaghetti straps over her shoulders, and her dress was a halter-top that left her shoulders and most of her clavicle completely bare. It was the kind of dress that requires either stick-'em bra pasties or a really complicated contraption that I've never been able to figure out and therefore have stayed far away from dresses that might require it, because, well, I need the support in certain dinner areas. Okay, in ALL dinner areas. Trip doesn't think there's a way to tell if someone is tracking them now.