Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss Me, Ingrate
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 12.10.2002
You know, it's gotten to the point where I'm like Geordi in "The Mind's Eye" -- I'm immune to the carnage. I realized this when I was watching tonight and Mathra came running in from the next room demanding, "What are you DOING?" because I was just letting the theme song play on.
Trip joins T'Pol and Quantum in the corridor and gets the low-down dirty that some Retellian cargo pilots are having issues with their life support systems. Quantum punches up some buttons on the hatch, and T'Pol says, "The seal is secure." Okay, that was weird. Wonder why they chose that time, of all times, for her to say that. And I'm not being cagey, either, because nothing mysterious happens later in relation to that. I'm just saying, they've been in the same position many times and I don't recall anyone making a point of stating that the seal is secure. Two aliens hang back in their ship as Quantum steps forward to welcome them. They make with the greetings and salutations; one of the aliens even bows to Trip calling him, "Our salvation." That's one word I would NEVER use to describe the Chief Engineer. Trip wants to get right to business, so the other alien explains, "We were hired to return a young woman to her homeworld. A few days ago her stasis pod started to malfunction." Quantum wonders at the word "stasis" and asks if she's injured, but the alien smoothly assures him that it's just such a long journey to her homeworld, she might as well nap. Is she in a floating, glowing egg? "We have another five months ahead of us. If she wakes up, there won't be enough food, air to breathe," the other alien explains rather desperately, "If we're forced to abort the mission, we won't get [he gets a warning look from his superior officer] paid." Quantum's Furrow Sense tingles at him, but he decides to ignore it. T'Pol assures the aliens about how "resourceful" Trip is, and Trip walks off with the nervous alien.
"You've been very accommodating -- if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to make another request. It's been a long time since we've enjoyed the luxury [strange but funny dramatic pause] of a bath," the alien suggests. He kind of sounds like the actor that played Sir Guy of Gisborne in Robin Hood: Prince of Fake Accents, which means that he also sounds like one of the bald stars in Nemesis. No, not Patrick Stewart -- all the other ones. Quantum understands -- does he, though? What if, on this guy's homeworld, a "bath" is something completely different. Like "Fennel Cleansing and Abdominal Release"? Or maybe it means mating with the nonexistent pilot, should there happen to be one on board, whose name, if he had one, would start with an M? -- and tells T'Pol to make their guest comfortable while he discusses a special menu with Chef. The way Quantum lords his relationship with Chef over everyone, you'd think he was Mrs. Danvers. Hygiene Alien follows T'Pol as Quantum grins and looks down at the hand he used to greet the aliens. Because it's...dirty?