Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss Me, Ingrate
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Somewhere in the bayou, one of the aliens of the week -- I guess we can assume it's Hygiene Alien, since Nervous Alien would be accompanied by Quantum and Qrew -- looks for the post-coital couple. He find the sh'pod and sees Pod White sitting just beyond it with a really fake-looking Trip dummy. Hygiene draws closer and takes aim. He fires at the dummy, which topples over, and its gourd-head falls off. Can I just say that the gourd is oft depicted in Southern literature or movies and found primarily in the South as well? In fact, my little sister collected American Girl dolls, and they all came with little accessories that befitted their time and place in American history -- Samantha was from 1904 and had a gold locket and a rose velvet purse, but Addy was an escaped slave from 1864, and she came with a drinking gourd. Pod White, holding a piece of beef jerky in her mouth, runs clumsily off. I think the director would have told her to drop the beef jerky entirely, since she should be afraid for her life and not concerned with keeping her hand attached to her mouth as though she were really afraid she would lose that particular piece of dried, stretched, and pounded animal carcass. What can I say? It's what stood out for me in that scene.
Hygiene Alien goes over to investigate the campsite, and Trip drops on him from out of a tree. They fight in the water. Trip gets in a few good punches before Hygiene Alien even manages to do anything, but none of them seem to do any damage. In fact, Hygiene Alien taunts Trip for his own lack of injury. Then Hygiene Alien throws Trip face-first into a log and holds him under the water. Spunky Pod White beats him over the head several times with a log until he's knocked unconscious into the water. With Pod White's help, Trip hauls himself out of the water and looks down at Hygiene. "LEAVE him," Pod White orders. "I want you to leave -- I want you to leave here now!" Mathra giggles. Trip gives Pod White A Look and hauls Hygiene out of the water. I guess that's to show us how much less civilized a species Pod White is? Speaking of her being alien and looking nothing like it, save for a few Trill-like freckles on her hairline, how did they know they could even have sex? Why isn't her nose or her thumb considered her genitalia? Ew, now I've grossed myself way out the door. But seriously? I'm so frickin' sick of these aliens being anatomically compliant with humans! As Trip crouches in the water, rummaging for Hygiene's weapon, Pod White blands that she hears someone else. We see Quantum, T'Pol, and Nervous Alien creeping stealthily through the brush. Why is the music so ominous? We KNOW it's the "good guys"! Quantum calls out, "Trip?" from behind Pod White and Trip. Trip whips around -- the look on his face is pretty funny because of how slack-jawed yokel-y he looks -- and sees T'Pol, Quantum, and Reed looking at him. "This a bad time?" Quantum asks. M, you are not. His lines were always more suggestive and clever. Even Q's could be -- like in Moonraker, when Bond's all tangled up in Lois Chiles in the space shuttle, Q says, "I think he's attempting re-entry!" Trip sighs, caught with his pants down again.