Episode Report Card Potes: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Don't Ask, Don't Tell
By Potes | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.21.2007
Cut to Casa de Suarez, where the doorbell is ringing. Betty takes a deep breath, opens the door, and welcomes Marc -- who calls her his "little enchilada" -- and his mom. He actually brought her a cactus in a donkey planter. Mrs. Wiener has the cat with her. Betty asks how she did in the show, and Mrs. Wiener says that the cat came in last place, and has been demoted to "just Buttons." There are introductions to Ignacio, and Jean says that she loves how their home is so "festivo." Hilda comes running down, yelling about how Marc and Betty are two crazy kids, so in love. She says that she wouldn't miss this for the world. I wouldn't either! It's like Guess Who's Flaming To Dinner. Commercials.
We return to a silent, awkward dinner, which means that there is much audible chewing. And there are few things I hate more than audible chewing. It makes me want to throw up and stab a fork in someone's eye. Jean feeds some of her meatloaf to the cat. Marc finally breaks the silence by asking his "taquito" if she remembers the time they went upstate to look at the leaves. Betty says that they listened to N'Sync the whole way up, and that's Marc's favorite boy band, and she knows that because she's his "boyfriend." Hee! Betty asks Mrs. Wiener how she got into cat shows, which is a mistake. The tale involves a hairless sphinx named Mr. Meowington. For the talent portion of his first show, he flushed a toilet. Hilda glares at Ignacio and notes that even a cat can do it. Jean says that Betty reminds him of Marc's old "roommate," Chuck. She asks Marc if he ever sees Chuck, and Marc gets emotional and says that he doesn't want to talk about him, and that they just lost touch. Jean says that Chuck was so handsome, and that he and Marc were so close. Marc quickly says that they weren't that close, and were just poker buddies. Hilda guesses that they played a lot of hold 'em. And queens were wild. There is some more pretense before Betty asks her "treasure" if she can see him in her room. Ignacio tells them to keep the door open, and everyone chuckles awkwardly.
The two faux lovebirds enter Betty's room; Marc notes, "This is where the tragic happens." Mean! Betty says that they can't continue the ruse, and that she keeps waiting for Mr. Roper to show up. Marc says that he helped Betty with Daniel, and that a deal's a deal. Betty says that Marc's a grown man, and that he should tell Jean the truth; she might surprise him. Marc points to the case of Lady Buttons. He refuses to come clean and says that he's her favorite child, and can't disappoint her. Betty looks disappointed herself, and Marc sadly asks how you can tell someone after ten years that none of it's been real? He says that if he tells his mother the truth now, then they've got nothing. Oh, hitting a chord! Hitting a chord! Coming-out episodes always make me cry. Betty asks what they have now -- two visits a year and Christmas? She says that's not a relationship. Marc says that it's too late, and Betty says that it's not. She says that Marc still has a mother, and still has a chance to make her a part of his life, and asks if he knows what she would give for that. Oh my God, double sad! Can't someone make a butt lift joke now? It's too much for me to take! Marc says that his family isn't Betty's family, so she needs to turn her moustache upside down and go back downstairs, and then he'll be out of there.