Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT NOOOOO!
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 09.16.1999
Aeryn bustles into Command and asks Pilot why their speed has increased. Pilot sardonically says it was the Captain's orders, so Aeryn turns to Crichton and asks if that's true, in a "What are you doing, you lunkhead?" undertone. Unfortunately, this is not an episode wherein Crichton is possessed of any subtlety concerning language. Crichton makes a show of saying that he wants to get to the base and take care of the virus as soon as possible. When Larraq moves out of earshot, Aeryn hisses at Crichton, asking what he's doing. Crichton bites out that he's doing what a commander in his situation would do, so she can just shut up. He then talks to Larraq, and I'm just going to assume that the spores don't exist at all or simply aren't important to the virus, because otherwise it wouldn't make much sense for it to start a conversation that's half a step away from amounting to "I'm an intellant virus! Ask me how!" Just then, Thorrn rushes in with the report of Hassan's death. Crichton starts to move for a gun, but D'Argo and Chiana rush in with weapons of their own. Larraq draws his pistol, but Aeryn slaps it away and kicks Thorrn's gun, causing him to miss the "prisoners." God, she's awesome. Zhaan appears and accuses Crichton of harboring the virus. A short melee ensues, and I guess everyone forgot the directive about avoiding physical contact, but again, it is Crichton we're talking about. Zhaan, realizing she touched Crichton, breathes, "Oh, no." If you think about it, that pretty much rules her out. A large Mexican standoff ensues, and Crichton dumbly asks what they're all looking at. Zhaan explains that the virus is in one of them. Of course, they should give Crichton the acid test to be sure that the virus isn't pulling a double-cross here, but it's not like they have reason to believe that the thing is tricky at all.
When we get back, everyone is yelling at the top of their lungs. It's rather amusing. Other good news: Crichton has finally dropped the accent. Zhaan explains to "John" what happened, and Larraq asks what's up with "this 'John' dren." D'Argo: "That topic is off at the moment." Maybe it's the moderator in me, but that's got to be the line of the episode. Crichton asks if the virus can reenter someone who's hosted it, and the answer is no, so Crichton gets Chiana to his side, as they're the safe ones. Of course, Rygel could tell them that Thorrn is off-limits as well, but he might be in a bit of a mood after being stunned and put on ice, so to speak. He'll at least need a cookie and an ear massage. Crichton asks about the stun gun, and is told that he destroyed it. He doesn't really need much more bad news at the moment, so it's just as well he doesn't think to ask where Hassan is. D'Argo pipes up that Zhaan volunteered to make an antidote, so they all move out.