Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT NOOOOO!
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 09.16.1999
When we come back to the same tableau, Crichton is all, "Oh, I think not." Dude, Henry Higgins would hear his delivery of those four words and throw up his hands all, "There's nothing I can do." But the DRDs apparently can, as several of them start a little laser crossfire that sends the Peacekeepers to the floor. When the demonstration is over, they warily get back on their feet as Crichton points out that they need his help.
Aeryn and Crichton are showing Larraq the "prisoners." Larraq notes that Zhaan is quite attractive, and even though Zhaan's probably plotting his death, there's precedent for thinking he's got a chance for a roll in the hay first. Larraq then moves to regard D'Argo as he goes over the story Aeryn and Crichton told him, which is that they recaptured the prisoners on a "new technologies training flight." Aeryn adds that "NewTech" has been experimenting with Leviathan mastery without the use of control collars, and Larraq is intrigued, so Crichton tells him that they have neural control over Pilot, and Pilot controls Moya. He asks Larraq what his mission is, but Larraq tells him he doesn't have the clearance to know anything about it. However, clearance or not, he does tell him that he has one crate he's got to get back into Peacekeeper control, and it's top priority, so he'll give Crichton the coordinates of their base, which is only twenty arns away. Aeryn quickly notes that that must mean the base is in the Uncharted Territories. Larraq: "It's a new Gammak base. Secret. Need-to-know only." The prisoners look chagrined, as well they might. I mean, not only are they in much greater danger of being recaptured, they've just realized that all those times they said "Uncharted Territories," they were employing a misnomer.
In the cargo hold or whatever, the female Peacekeeper objects to how roughly the two plug-uglies are handling "the Captain's prize." Chiana appears with a small tray and asks if she can approach. The bald one is all, "Get as close as you want, darling." Translator microbes everywhere: "[Eye-roll]." Chiana explains there's food in the center chamber, and that "the Captain" ordered her to attend to them, prompting the bald guy, whose name is "Thorrn," to appreciatively note that Crichton has a non-regulation servant/implied concubine. So the whole Peacekeeper purity thing is even more hypocritical than we thought. I'm so shocked that I can't even clutch my pearls. I can still manage to type, though -- isn't it funny how that works? The blonde Peacekeeper is not having the slightest bit of this, and tells the "Sergeant" that she wants to check the contents of the crate, "now." Thorrn produces a key, causing a circular lock to rotate and some air to escape the apparently vacuum-sealed container. Chiana watches with interest, and then Thorrn tells her that he's been out with just "my Captain and these two" for nearly a full cycle. Chiana's all, "You're horny? Yeah, I can work with that." After a bit of flirtation, she "accidentally" spills some liquid on the dude's pants, and makes a big show of wiping it off personally. Thorrn doesn't mind at all, but Blondie is all, "Food in the center chamber? Got it. Now leave us." Hee. Chiana obeys, but once she's out of sight, we see her unfold her towel to reveal that she made an impression of Thorrn's key with some malleable material she had with her. She snarks, "Too easy." Another missed playground-ism: "I know you are, but what am I?"