Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Eli's no poet. He doesn't know it.
By Heathen | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.13.2000
At Karen's house, Jessie and Leo are discussing a weekend plan. He wants to know what's playing at The Archives, a theater showcasing old movies. Karen balks. Leo's interest is piqued by the Tony Curtis/Jack Lemmon cross-dressing caper Some Like it Hot, which should ring some alarm bells -- isn't obsession with that film a homosexual stereotype in the same class as love of Barbra Streisand? Maybe not. Maybe Leo just likes trying on Karen's sensible shoes sometimes. ["But then there's the fact that Mark Feuerstein, who plays Leo, also played a bisexual on Ally McBeal last year. Just sayin'." -- Wing Chun] Jessie would much rather watch Eli's band rehearsal. Conveniently, Eli sullenly barges in and heads straight for the fridge, trying to skirt his mother's obvious enthusiasm for talking about the SAT -- the test, silly, not Karen's Straight-laced Ass-on-a-pole Tendencies. Eli is so obviously bummed and agitated, but Karen totally buys it when he tells her the test went "fine, great." Karen is too boring to notice that no one uses words like "fine" or "great" in the same sentence unless they're faking it. She immediately asks about the math. "What math?" Eli says, horrified and running screaming from the room with foam flecks spewing from the corners of his mouth. Oh wait -- nothing that exciting could happen in boring Karen's boring kitchen. If you're in it, you're infected with lethargy. Leo posits that Eli should just put the SAT out of his mind and enjoy the weekend. Right on, Leo. As Karen declares her pride in Eli's effort -- which she now believes will lead to auspicious SAT results -- Coop and Company arrive lugging enormous amps. If Karen thought this was a temporary "hey, Mom, can we jam in the basement" situation, then she's sorely mistaken. Unless Coop & Co. is stupid enough to cart the amps in and out of all their different rehearsal venues. Wait, never mind. They are stupid enough. Stupid-Ass Teenagers. Leo salivates at the amplifiers, and Jessie -- denied once by Eli -- is welcomed downstairs by Coop to have a gander at their band in action. Karen sips her wine and looks mildly stressed. No, she just looks mild. "You are one hip mom," Leo says. "My mother would've never let us practice in the basement." Leo offers to help with dinner, but Karen dismisses him so he can scamper downstairs and play with kids his own age. Karen looks worried again.
The drummer taps his sticks together to get the band in sync -- but *N Sync they are not -- and guitar riffs abound. Leo starts twitching and getting really excited, pulling out his worst air-guitar show and displaying it for an unimpressed Jessie. He's a complete loser. The song starts slow, then speeds up and gets very heavy on the bass guitar, which is Coop's instrument. Eli stops them and yells at the drummer, who looks downtrodden and restarts the song. Guitar playing ensues. Leo's erection swells once more. Eli stops the music and there's more pointless yelling about who's off track and who doesn't know the song. One more try. Leo's completely aroused at this point, and Jessie just looks horrified at his attempt to rock out with Eli's chums. Upstairs, Karen catches a glass before it crashes to the floor -- it seems the loud music is jiggling the dinner table, which she is very sensibly setting with very sensible crockery. She grimaces.