Episode Report Card Aaron: B | 791 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Baldness <> Death
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2003.02.09
Dino pops in to tell us that the third leading cause of death in America is stroke, or, "as they like to call it these days, a 'brain attack.'" Now, I know we had someone who claims to be associated with the show on our forums this week swearing that Jon Seda isn't reading from cue cards in this scene, but I don't believe a word of it. You can practically see his eyes moving, and his performance is flatter than a pre-Colombian map of the Earth that's just been starched and pressed by the local dry cleaners. Seriously, people. I've seen two-by-fours display more emotion.
But have no fear, because we're finally getting to the good stuff in this week's episode. Robson is out of the hole and into Sister Pete's office, where he admits that even though he's returned to his old ways of "bullying, and waving [his] dick around," he still feels badly about mistreating his wife during her visit. "I always swore I'd never lay a hand on Liesel," he says, before adding that if he had it to do over again, he'd "talk" and "hug her" and "stroke her hair," rather than simply "shoving her hand down [his] pants." Aww. See? Robson just wants to cuddle. He's really nothing but a big ol' man-raping teddy bear when you get right down to it, isn't he? Sister Pete slowly draws him out, and gently maneuvers him toward her ultimate goal, which is to have him vocalize what Cutler did to him so that he can accept it and begin healing. Robson tearfully does just that, and then sobs and hides in the corner as she watches him silently.
Aaron: Liesel?
Tom Fontana: So?
Aaron: LIESEL?
Tom Fontana: What's your point?
Aaron: THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF ASS RAPE!
Tom Fontana: Yeah. That's funny. Would you have preferred "Sherry Bobbins" instead?
Aaron: Well, now that you mention it…
From Robson's tears we dissolve to one of the more powerful scenes in recent memory, as Sister Pete's rape counseling group meets for a session in the empty cafeteria. Each of the prisoners gets a chance to tell his own sordid story, and they detail indignities ranging from being purchased for two cartons of Kools to pulling a six-man train on Thanksgiving Day. Robson somehow manages to refrain from regaling them with The Saga of the Spoon, but the scene is no less disturbing for its absence. It's all very well-acted, and very difficult to recap (what with the image of a middle-aged man getting unwillingly rented out for $3.00 a blow-job not really lending itself to whimsical hilarity), and if nothing else, it's led to me resolve once again that I will never, ever, ever go to prison. Hell, I even just deleted all the mp3s off my hard drive.