Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Spiderwebs
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.12.2002
Audrey and Pacey ride down the escalator to a bizarrely unpopulated area of the arena. Audrey is holding a bright yellow No Doubt t-shirt, which she waves in the air as she thanks Pacey for buying it for her. "It was the least I could do for acting like a swine," he offers. Audrey's skirt is even shorter than I first thought, and it has a slit literally up to her belt. I guess part of her downward spiral includes "dressing like a crack whore." Audrey shrugs that Pacey was just being "a guy." Pacey corrects her and says he was acting like "a human being." Audrey's not really listening to him, of course, and just mutters something about how it's her own responsibility to make herself happy. Pacey reminds her that she hasn't been doing "such a bang-up job with that." Audrey shrugs and admits that she misses him. They hug. "Booooooring!" Joey's It calls from my bedroom, where It is re-organizing my closet. I have to say, the It irked me to no end on the show, but It's a wonderful houseguest. Pacey pulls away from Audrey and informs her that he can't take any more of her being "down on [herself]." And he's going to make her feel better. "By force, if necessary." He's about to tickle her or some shit when Jen comes trudging into the scene. She doesn't look pissed so much as she does disappointed, which everyone knows is worse. Pacey cheerfully suggests that they go find their seats, but Jen asks him to go on ahead so she can talk to Audrey in private.
After he leaves, Jen gives Audrey the saddest, most disappointed look ever. "I just wanted to tell you that I know about what happened with you and [Blandy]," she says quietly. Audrey has the good grace to look at least slightly abashed. "Jen. I just want you to know that I didn't know you liked him so much," she begins. "I mean, I thought that you did, but..." Wow. There's just so much wrong with that line of defense. As far as I am concerned, if you even suspect that your friend likes a boy -- and you'd have to be dead in the ground not to know that Jen had the hots for Blandy, by the way, so Audrey saying she was unsure is bullshit -- you don't sleep with that guy. Wasn't it Audrey who, just last season, was all espousing "bros before hos"? Practice what you preach, sister. And yeah, I know this is all The Tragic Unfolding Of Audrey's Downward Spiral, but the writers are going to have a hard time rehabilitating her at the end of this. That is, if they ever want her to be sympathetic, like, ever again. Jen just looks at her. "I don't want to talk about this," she says. "I just wanted to let you know that I know." She turns to leave, but Audrey calls her back. She pleads with Jen to just go ahead and yell at her. "I deserve it," she whines. "It was a mistake, it was a big mistake." Whatever. I find that pretty hard to believe. Here's my theory: Jen is the only person not mad at Audrey for one reason or another, right? So of course Audrey's going to sleep with Blandy, to alienate the only person she knows who doesn't think she sucks. It's all part of The Downward Spiral. Is it too much to hope that the downward spiral ends in Audrey falling into the Charles River and drowning? Or overdosing in Liberty Hell's Kitchen's bathroom, thereby teaching the gang a lesson about the evils of drugs? Or accidentally shooting herself in the stomach with her father's gun at her birthday party whilst attempting to demonstrate to Joey how she can twirl the weapon like a gunslinger? "Yeah, it was a mistake," Jen says. "So, yell at me," Audrey whines pathetically. "I don't want to yell at you," Jen says. "I don't have it in me to yell at you. You know, I've actually been holding back lately because I actually had some sympathy for you," she continues. "I thought, Audrey, she's just confused, she's just messed up, but you're not. You're just sad." And with that, Jen just turns and walks away. Audrey does look sad, it's true.