Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Sexperiment in Criticism
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.10.2004
Some random Red Stripe is startled in her quarters as Shingles calmly walks through.
Bridge. T'Pol is in normal clothes as she reports that Shingles is disrupting systems as he proceeds, so it will be easy to track him. Man, what a dumbass -- if he'd just used the corridors like any other trans-dimensional alien, they wouldn't have such an easy time tracking him.
Reed, Hayes, and their team are in a corridor. Reed asks T'Pol to be more specific about Shingles's location on B-deck. With comedic timing, Shingles walks through walls right in front of them. They fire at him, to no avail. Reed comms that Shingles is heading toward the center of the ship and that their weapons are next to worthless on him. Quantum comms Trip, who responds just as the camera speeds up on his face. I assume that means Shingles got to him. I suppose it's a compliment to Hayes's training that Trip managed to get his arms up in a defensive-attack move before he got knocked out cold.
Engineering. Reed checks on Trip until Hayes directs his attention to Shingles climbing up the warp engine. Fighting side by side, Hayes and Reed fire fruitlessly at Shingles. Shingles fists the warp core. Sparks fly. People fall down. Stuff fluctuates. Reed announces that they have to reverse polarity on the plasma manifolds. Heh, reversing polarity has become such a joke that I couldn't help but giggle at that. Anyway, Reed and Hayes work together as an Ambiguously Gay Duo and blast a screaming Shingles off the warp engine.
Mess Hall. "Mornin'," Trip greets T'Pol. "Commander," T'Pol says, and walks away with her drink. Trip orders up coffee, strong. Because he didn't get any sleep last night with all the bamp-chicka going on. Oh, and the alien attack on the warp core. Trip sits down with the monosyllabic Vulcan and comments that he's not sure who did more damage to the engine, Reed or Shingles. More small talk, until Trip says they should talk about last night. I vote that's the next movie they show at Movie Night. "I've been briefed," T'Pol says. No, honey, last night you were de-briefed. Learn the lingo. Trip clarifies that he was talking about all the sex they had. T'Pol just stares at him, so Trip decides he'll jump right in and say very little. He asks her to go first. "I suppose I should thank you," T'Pol says, thoughtfully. Trip smiles and aw-shucks-little-ladys that there's no need for thanks. "For facilitating my exploration of human sexuality," T'Pol finishes. Trip isn't quite up to speed on that one. "It's one of the many aspects of your species that I've been meaning to explore since I left the High Command," T'Pol explains. Trip smiles nervously and says, "Sounds like you're saying that last night was some kind of...experiment." Yup, a sexperiment. "I wouldn't use that term," T'Pol says innocently. Damn, Blalock's expressions are hysterical in this episode. "But that's the general idea," Trip counters. T'Pol frowns slightly and inquires if he's getting emotional. "No, I'm not getting emotional, I just don't like being compared to a lab rat," Trip says, exasperated. "I'm sorry if I offended you," T'Pol states. Trip laughs mirthlessly and tells her to forget it, and asks her not to mention her sexperiment to anyone else. "In fact, we should probably forget it ever happened," Trip adds. T'Pol agrees. "Doesn't mean we can't keep doing the neuro-pressure, though," Trip says. T'Pol raises her eyebrows and says nothing. Trip mirrors her expression. T'Pol sips her tea. So, they'll be FTN -- Friends That Nudge.
Quantum's Ready Room. "Dr. Phlox says you have a detached retina," Quantum says, looking at Reed, who says nothing. "A bruised left kidney," Quantum directs at Hayes. He then bawls them out in a slightly slurred voice, especially when he says "everywhere we go." It was kinda weird to think he might be hitting the bottle in secret, but also kinda cool if it were true. "Settle it!" Quantum spits in Reed's face. Hee -- Joey and Gary Oldman with the tins of tuna fish. "That's an order!" Quantum spits some more. Reed and Hayes look at each other. "There's no problem, Captain," Reed says. "It's settled, sir!" Hayes agrees. Now kiss and say you're sorry or Daddy will spank you. Lord, I've got to stop snacking on Corned Beef Slash this late at night. Quantum asks how the drills are going. "Good, sir!" Hayes says. "Very good, sir," Reed seconds. Phlox comms Quantum that Shingles has regained consciousness. Quantum leaves. Hayes and Reed stand there for a moment. "Think we're dismissed?" Reed asks. Hee.