Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B+ | 11 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Creepy Zombies Are Coming
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.31.2013
Joffrey's royal dining room. Margaery and Loras Tyrell are joining Joffrey and Cersei. Joffrey whines about the Small Council wasting his time. I'm sure that's how they feel about him. It can't be fun to come up with a tax plan and then have to ask Joffrey if it's okay. Cersei snipes about how Margaery must be cold (subtext: "because you're barely clothed"), but she and Loras both say their blood runs warm. She compliments the metalwork in Cersei's gown (subtext: "Why are you wearing armor at a family dinner?"), and Cersei points out that a bit of armor can come in handy (subtext: "Watch out or I'll stab you to death"). Cersei brings up the orphanage trip. Loras smiles, "Margaery does a great deal of work with the poor back in Highgarden." Cersei's smile doesn't change, but she's metaphorically rolling her eyes. Margaery is enthusiastically naive about why anyone wouldn't want to mingle with the good people of King's Landing, and Cersei tells her about the time they were attacked by the mob. Joffrey takes the wrong side in the dispute and contradicts Cersei: "Facts grow less and less important to her as she grows... older." He thinks his life was never in danger and Cersei says they can't all have a king's bravery. Margaery brings up the hundred wagons a day that the Tyrells are bringing to support the king (subtext: "You can't hold this town without us, so be sure and make me the official queen pretty soon"). Cersei is not amused, but I think she should be glad that Margaery isn't explicitly planning on murdering Joffrey as soon as she gets some power. She probably wants to wait until she has an heir, the way Cersei did. Besides, maybe Joffrey will pick up a political trick or two from Margaery. He certainly wasn't going to learn anything from Sansa.
Dany's ship arrives at a fancy fantasy city where they speak a weird foreign tongue. A snooty guy leads her and Jorah to see the Unsullied, and everything he says will be translated by a lady translator. The Unsullied have been standing on guard for a day and night with no food or water, and they'll stand there until they drop. That's an impressive demonstration of discipline, but I don't think it's going to keep them in peak physical condition. I'd rather hire an army that has a healthy diet and gets some sleep. The translator tells the Master that Dany is impressed but won't admit it to keep the price down. Then there's some talk about how much training they go through. Discipline and loyalty are very important around here. The translator says, "My Master says the Unsullied are not men. Death means nothing to them." The Master insults Dany a bit in his obscure language and then proceeds with a demonstration.