Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B+ | 11 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Creepy Zombies Are Coming
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.31.2013
An Unsullied steps forward, and the Master cuts off his nipple with a knife. Dany is shocked! The Master asks his translator, "Does the dumb bitch know we've cut off their balls?" So we've established that the Master insults Dany a lot in a language she presumably doesn't speak. Moving on, we learn that to be officially "Unsullied," the Unsullied have to bring a silver coin to the market and kill a newborn before its mothers' eyes. Daenerys is not amused: "You take a babe from its mother's arms, kill it as she watches and pay for her pain with a silver coin?" The master calls her a mewling fool, and anyway the silver coin goes to the baby's owner, not the mother. Anyway, they have 8,000 Unsullied to sell, and Daenerys has until tomorrow to decide. There aren't anywhere near 8,000 soldiers here, so I guess these are just the floor models. The ones you buy probably get to eat food and still have all their nipples.
Once Jorah and Dany are alone, she's more concerned with the 8,000 dead babies. She also seems concerned about the moral implications of being the owner of a slave army. Jorah thinks the Unsullied won't have a significantly worse life if Dany owns them. A creepy hooded figure follows them as Jorah suggests that at least Dany won't mutilate them, so they'll undoubtedly be happier brainwashed soldier slaves under her.
A cute little girl rolls a wooden ball to Dany. Dany goes to open it, and the hooded figure knocks it away. And then it opens up and some kind of fantasy scorpion crawls out. It was an assassination attempt! An unnecessarily complicated one, but still! The girls dives into the water and then reappears on a roof, so they decide it must have been the warlocks. The hooded guy removes his hood to reveal himself as Barristan Selmy. That's the badass who was the head of Robert Baratheon's kingsguard and got fired by Cersei because she wanted to put Jaime in the spot. We haven't seen him since Season One! He asks Daenerys's forgiveness for failing to protect her father back when Robert took over the kingdom. But he's super-competent and Daenerys could probably use one of those guys around. He found her in a random city across the sea, so she should at least find out how he did that, right?
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