Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I love a man in uniform
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 07.14.2001
Okay, remember the lusty Russian florist from last week? The one that checked out Morticia Ingalls in a really harmless charming way, which sent her screaming into her house as if she was having a post-traumatic stress disorder attack? I would just like to say here that every menopausal woman I know who still gets hit on, grieving widow or not, would not be acting like Sibyl’s mom just whipped out the enema bag when asked on a date. They would walk slowly back inside, giving lusty Russian Florist good long look at their asses, and then go call up fourteen of her friends to rehash the whole experience. An old lady might not give it up for every man who flirts with her, but it’s not like she minds the attention. So look who turns up at Lusty Florist’s shop? It’s Morticia. Lusty Florist is on the phone with a customer. He tells the customer that his shop "doesn’t hef website," and that potential buyers need to come in to see the merchandise. This is obviously to show us that Lusty Florist isn’t hip to the new, now, and wow and needs to learn to love his customer. Morticia has come to return some vases for recycling. Lusty Florist’s face brightens when he sees her. He takes the vases from her and thanks her profusely. Morticia brushes off the compliment and more flirtatious behavior and, referring to the "Help Wanted" sign in the window, applies for a job. She explains that, unlike him, she has thirty years experience helping people and showing them "respect." Lusty Florist says he "hef respect" for his customers too. Morticia disagrees with him, calling him "pompous and arrogant." She argues that she knows about flowers and that she could help him build a proper business. "And if you don’t think so, you can fire me." How gutsy of her to just walk in and demand a job. Didn’t Julia Roberts win an Oscar doing just that?
So Father Clark, the new "radiKal" priest, meets with David in the Church of the Poison Mind. They don’t sit down or anything, but walk along the center aisles of the church pews and chat. Father RadiKal outlines his plan for making "changes." "This is one of those congregations that thinks that going to church once a week absolves them of all moral responsibility and they can ignore the plight of others," he tells David, oblivious to the fact that job interviews are not good times to bash the place where you want a job…yes, even if that job you’re applying for is a priesthood. David defends his church and points out that they have a homeless outreach. "Don’t get me wrong," says Father RadiKal, his eyes ablaze with zealousness. "They’re good people, they’re just lazy." Gee, Father RadiKal, when can you start? Father RadiKal goes on to talk about how Jesus was a revolutionary who was "assassinated" for political purposes, and how God doesn’t want "complacency" from his worshippers. This all leads up to the fact that he wants to teach the parish tolerance for homosexuals and black people. David asks Father RadiKal why he’s being so honest with him. "Because I can tell that right and wrong matter to you," says Father RadiKal. Which I guess is job-interview-speak for, "You look like a pious closet case who likes to get nasty with muscular black guys." Oh, and he mentions his dead wife, so you can tell that he’s straight and cool.