Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Grease Fire
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.11.2003
Sh'pod. Quantum's having problems with the comm and navigational sensors because of the Andorian jamming signals, so he hopes the landing coordinates are accurate. T'Pol wonders if Quantum read over the Territorial Compromise she dropped off the night before. "I glanced at it," Quantum tells her. T'Pol feels the need to underscore how important it is for him to read all twelve hundred pages of it. "Did you 'glance' at any of the other materials I sent to your quarters? V'Lar's treatise on negotiating tactics is the definitive text on the subject," T'Pol informs him. Quantum impatiently says that he got all the reports she brought to him and was up until two in the morning. Quantum sounds eerily like my dad when he's trying get through one of my recaps. "Glancing," T'Pol states. Quantum wonders what she's getting at. T'Pol figured that, since Soval's so convinced Quantum will fail, she was hoping reading enough stuff could better his chances to prove the Vulcan Ambassador wrong. Quantum is tersely appreciative of the gesture, but doesn't think he's going to "impress [Excedrin PM] by quoting Vulcan treaties." T'Pol thinks this means Quantum has an actual strategy. Please -- certain specific and scarcely to be anticipated meteorological conditions would have to take place in the infernal regions before Quantum would have an actual strategy. Quantum has decided that the first thing he has to do is convince Excedrin PM that he can trust him. But, see, what would be the point of that when Excedrin PM already trusts him enough to call him in as Head Buttinski? "And then?" T'Pol prompts. "We're just going to have to play it by ear," Quantum says, and suppresses a smile as he turns back to the sh'pod con. Drink for the ear joke.
The sh'pod lands, and T'Pol and Quantum walk around. Behind them, we see a member of Blue Man Group dart through a corridor. Finally, after some non-tension building moments, Suzy Blue's voice says, "Don't move, Vulcan." T'Pol shouts out to Quantum, who joins her and announces that they are unarmed. Regardless of that admission, other members of the Blue Man Group pull weapons on them. Quantum introduces himself and says he has an appointment with Excedrin PM. Suzy Blue says Quantum's expected, but not with a Vulcan escort. "I wasn't told to come alone. This is my science officer. She helped expose the Vulcan listening post at P'Jem. I thought Excedrin PM might enjoy seeing her again," Quantum says. The two qrewmembers' heads are bagged, and they are led to Excedrin PM's office. Three steps away. Once he's debagged, Quantum tells Excedrin PM, "I imagined my first diplomatic mission would involve sitting around a big table, toasting with champagne, and signing things with lots of pens." He needs to stop watching reruns of Yes, Prime Minister. All Excedrin PM has to say to that is, "The pink-skin sense of humor." And because they can't get away with that much lack of tension, we finally go to commercial.