Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Your Money Or Your Wife
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.23.2001
Ben and Trevor are in a really, really dark lab, like, it must be in a cave or something. Every lab I've ever been in had overly bright florescent lights. Anyway, they're both wearing protective eyewear, and yet Scott Speedman still manages to look hot. How does he do that? Trevor complains about the experiment, because the material is still brown and it's supposed to be black and crystalline. Ben appears frustrated, because he can't figure out what they're missing. Trevor says that they've been at it for six hours, and tonight is Molson Night at some bar. Trevor suggests that they go have a few beers and try the experiment again later. Somehow I think that drinking alcohol and messing with chemicals don't mix very well. Ben is tempted, but then decides he's going to stay, and tells Trevor to go ahead. Trevor does. I don't like this Trevor one bit. He's like Lynn II: Electric Drunkaloo.
Sean arrives at his parents' house in Flushing, where his father is watching Wheel of Fortune. Sean's brother is played by Greg Grunberg's brother, who looks just like Sean, but fatter; he comments, "Nice work." Sean turns down the television, and then sits down next to his father. Awkward pause. Sean comments on the show, and then asks his father what's in the box sitting nearby. Mr. Blumberg comments that it's "a screwless chair," which is an idea he had. See, he's an entrepreneur too. Mr. Blumberg comments that the idea didn't take off, and Sean's brother (who I'm just going to name Don) adds that the idea still has potential. Sean tells his father that the dinner has been rescheduled as brunch the next day. Mr. Blumberg asks whether that means Sean isn't embarrassed about his father. Sean doesn't answer. Instead, he asks whether his parents will be there. Mr. Blumberg says that Mrs. Blumberg would like to be there. Don yells out, with his mouth full, that he already has plans. Don is supposed to be the comic relief.
Javier nervously walks onto a stage, dressed in armor, and asks to be considered for the role of Don Quixote, and adds that he would also consider the role of Sancho Panza. The director asks him to lose the accent, and Javier shifts around nervously. The pianist starts playing. Javier bursts out, "To dreeeeeam the impossible dreeeeem" in a kind of flat voice, but it's Javier, so it's super-cute. The director interrupts him to call out, "Next!" Javier mutters that he missed the intro, and walks off the stage.
Sean walks into the loft to find it mostly empty. Some big burly men are carrying out what remains of the furniture. He asks what's going on, and Big Burly Man #1 explains that they are from a collection agency, and they're taking his furniture. Sean still doesn't get it, and BBM explains that the landlord let them in, because Sean is past due on his payments. Sean protests that they are taking everything that he owns, and BBM #1 says that Sean has bigger problems, because the super says that they're getting ready to evict him. BBM #1 and #2 walk out with the furniture, and Sean looks around the now empty loft. It's way too clean -- I'm sure the collection agency would have just tossed his personal belongings aside to get to the furniture, not put them away neatly.
Noel sits on the floor in the loft, next to a lamp. Felicity walks in and asks what's going on, referring to the lack of furnishings. Noel says that Sean left a note saying that the floors are being redone. Felicity wonders when Sean will be back, because she has a question for him. Noel has no idea. Awkward pause. Felicity says that she heard Noel is moving, and Noel says he found "a place in Chelsea." Well, that check should just about cover first and last month's rent and the security deposit. I don't know how he's going to pay the second month's rent. Felicity looks upset that Noel is leaving without talking to her about it. Noel asks if he can give a message to Sean for her. Felicity wants Sean to know that she stopped by because she has a financial question for him. Noel laughs that Felicity must be "pretty desperate." Felicity laughs, too. Noel asks what the problem is. Felicity says that she's trying to pay her tuition; she went to the bank to get a loan, and was told that she doesn't have any collateral. Do you need collateral for a student loan? I have lots of friends with student loans (and I thank God every night that I didn't have to take any out), but all of them were technically still dependent on their parents, so I don't know what the story is here. But then again, people take huge loans for medical or law school, and they're old enough that they aren't dependents anymore. It just seems unrealistic that Felicity couldn't get a loan. Anyway, Felicity's bright idea is to charge her tuition on a credit card. Noel tells her not do that, because the interest rate would be too high. Well, she could shop around and find a card with a lower interest rate. I need to stop obsessing about this. Noel offers to help Felicity with money, and explains about the Gnatalie inheritance. Noel says that he doesn't need or want the money, and he can get a smaller apartment. Felicity says that she can't take money from him. Noel says that it'll be a no-interest loan that she can pay back whenever. Felicity says that she needs to do it on her own, because she's no Joey Potter, but thanks Noel anyway, and calls him "amazing." Wow, am I glad she didn't take that money.