Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Your Money Or Your Wife
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.23.2001
Trevor walks into Chemistry class to find Ben asleep on the desk. He asks whether Ben was there all night; Ben says he was, but that he thinks he figured out the problem. The professor walks in. Trevor says how great Molson Night was, and then calls the professor over to check out their work. Well, it's really Ben's work, but Trevor doesn't seem to have a problem taking credit for it. This guy is bad news. The professor says that it's not right. Trevor points out that it's black, but the professor says that it's gooey, and it's supposed to be crystalline. The professor snarks, "Maybe some sleep would have helped avoid this common error." Ben politely asks what the error was, but Professor Snark says that telling Ben the error won't help him to learn, and Ben needs to do it on his own. Also, if Ben doesn't figure it out, he won't be in the class much longer. Professor Snark walks away, and Ben comments to Trevor, "Man, you were right. This guy sucks." Professor Snark hears it, and says that if there's a problem, no one is forcing Ben to stay.
Sean tells Noel about his latest brainstorm -- flavored pen caps. Sean demonstrates the way people chew on pens all day, and that it would be great if the pens were flavored. I think a better idea would be if they contained fluoride or some agent to make your teeth whiter and stronger. People seem to be obsessed with strong, white teeth these days, with the Sonicare and the Crest White Strips. Noel asks whether this is about the Gnatalie money, and Sean explains that he just needs "a little seed money." Sean makes Noel try the blackberry-flavored pen cap. Noel sticks it in his mouth, but doesn't look very pleased. Sean tells Noel that he doesn't need an answer now, and urges Noel to try the cherry-flavored one. Sean leaves, and as soon as he's gone, Noel tosses the pen aside.
Javier makes Felicity breakfast and tells her how badly his audition went. Felicity is sure it wasn't that bad, but Javier assures her that it was, and "the dream is definitely dead." Felicity says that she knows the feeling. Javier asks whether she broke up with Ben, but Felicity tells him that she didn't get the loan. Javier comments, "Oh, for a second there, I got so scared. This omelet will make you feel better." I wish Javier would come to my house and make me breakfast. I'd even settle for Javier recording my outgoing answering machine message. Felicity takes the omelets and moves to the breakfast table, explaining that her only remaining options are calling her father and groveling, or dropping out. Javier asks where the scholarship book is, grabs it off the table, and starts leafing through it. Felicity is sure that there is nothing left, because she's looked through it thoroughly. Javier opens to the page with the beauty pageant, and thumps his fingers on the page. Felicity says that it's "ridiculous" to think that she would enter the pageant. Javier tells her that "it's not all beefcake," and there's an academic portion. Felicity doesn't believe him. Javier reads that she only has to send in a recent photo and application within one week. Javier reads further that pageants are the #1 source of scholarship money for young women. You know, the pageants always trot out that statistic, but I don't think it says anything good about pageants. It really shows how mixed up our society is, that we would rather force women to preen and pose for scholarship money, instead of awarding it based on merit or need, regardless of how a woman looks in a bathing suit. Maybe it's just me. Javier asks Felicity why she's being so judgmental, and points out that it's $10,000.