Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Debriefing of Kiefer
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.04.2002
CTU. Enter Chappelle. Oh no, not the super-hot photographer David La Chappelle who took my favorite photo ever -- the one of Tori Spelling climbing out of a limo with some McDonald's wrappers at her feet. This is yet another dude who has control over Kiefer's livelihood, probably values "rules" way too much, and hates Kiefer for getting more pussy in the past week than he'll ever get in a lifetime. In fact, let's just call him Kenneth Starlet. "Looks like they're bringing in the big guns," says Milo to Soul Patch as Starlet walks by. Hey, Milo! Where have you been? Oh, and like every new personage who enters CTU on a mission, Chappelle has a couple of minions who we will probably never see again. They'll probably end up in the same waiting room as Kyle and the AlbertaMinions, reading Highlights and Golf Digest until 5 PM. Back in Kiefer's holding room, some guy enters and places some recording equipment in front of him, and then Chappelle enters. Kiefer tries to speak to him off the record, but Chappelle stops him and turns on the tape recorder. Kiefer pauses, offended that he's being treated like your average suspect, and starts to tell the story of what's happened since midnight.
The screen splits to show Nina at the clinic wearing a styling new suit -- a charcoal grey Yves Saint Laurent double-knit, I believe. She enters a room that she thinks is where the Kieferettes are hanging out, but encounters an FBI agent making a phone call instead. He claims to have been brought in to interrogate the new prisoners captured at the TerrorKompound, and he's got a badge and everything. Nina flashes her badge. Hey, where's my badge? Nina exits and asks a nurse where the Kieferettes are being held. The nurse points her in the right direction. Psycho piano music starts playing. You know, the kind that's always there on the soundtrack whenever a character thinks she's paranoid but in fact everyone is out to get her?
Nina finds the Kieferettes' room. Bride is in the middle of getting her midsection waxed. Oh, wait, she's getting an ultrasound. Incidentally, Leslie Hope has quite a fine set of abs! Spawn's getting her blood pressure taken. Nina tells the Kieferettes that she's there to check up on them, and lets them know that she'll be outside in the waiting room in case they "need anything." Bride asks after Kiefer. Nina lies and says that he's just being asked some routine questions and that everything should be okay. "If he doesn't piss 'em off first," says Bride. Nina chuckles sympathetically…but not too sympathetically. "I guess you know Kiefer as well as I do," says Bride, retying the drawstring on her hospital scrubs and sitting up in bed. Nina changes the subject to tell the Kieferettes that she's sent someone to Casa Kiefer to pick up some clean clothes. The Kieferettes want to go home. Nina explains that they need to answer some questions. "This was a terrorist konspiracy and unfortunately you were in the middle of it," says Nina. Bride thanks Nina for her help in liberating them from the TerrorKompound, and tells her that she saved their lives. Nina accepts Bride's gratitude reluctantly, and exits. Split-screen reaction shots galore.