Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Guess Who's Coming To Breakfast?
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on January 14, 2002
Elsewhere within the TerrorKompound, in some new lockdown we've never seen before with a brick-face interior painted the color of a robin's egg. It's probably some shade of Martha Stewart house paint from her collection of custom blends inspired by the colors in and around Skylands, her Seal Harbor, Maine estate. Spawn sits, head in hand, her hair appearing longer than it was less than an hour ago. The TerrorMinions enter with Bride, and for some useless reason, they don't let the two Kieferettes near each other until they lock them in another room, which looks more like a barnyard whose hay-filled interior is used for Playboy spreads. It even has the same golden, filtered light. Mother and daughter have a tearful reunion over the same bale of hay where Miss November sat earlier that day, wearing a flannel shirt tied at the ribcage, a pair of thigh-high boots, and a lot of body foundation. "It's okay, it's okay," repeats Bride like a mantra. No, it's not. Spawn gasps for air as her moistened face emerges from her mother's bosom. The time is 7:11:19 AM. It's about time I had a commercial break!
The time is 7:15:43 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Palmer and Lady MacPalmer ride in their limo to the breakfast, Kiefer drives the Terror Taurus to the breakfast, FauxMartin mingles at the breakfast, and Spawn and Bride are reunited 'cause it feels so good. And it's still good even after the commercial. You know how in those soft-core porn films on Cinemax, there's the obligatory lesbo scene where the sexy older female professor seduces her nubile young student by inviting her to discuss her thesis over a female bonding dinner, which soon turns into a wine-inspired mutual confession of past loves and long buried curiosities, leading to tender caresses and finally a candle-lit Sapphic romp that lasts until the golden hue of the morning sun? Well, imagine that with some hay and no actual nudity or lesbianism and you've got the visual gist of this next scene. Bride holds Spawn and caresses her hair as Spawn pours her heart out about the evil frat boys. "PMMS was hit by a car," says Spawn. "I know," says Bride, brushing a tendril of blonde hair away from Spawn's eyes. Spawn looks like she's going to ask how Bride knows about all of this and how PMMS is doing, but stops herself. Bride comforts her again, assuring her that everything will be all right.