Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chainsaws Don't Kill People; People Kill People
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.14.2004
Mary runs out of the house, followed by Eddieface. Say what you will about him -- Eddieface is one determined guy with a work ethic to match! There is running and more running. Some of the running is in slow motion; some of it isn't. Finally, Mary comes to a fence, which she jumps over. Eddieface decides that he's so cool that he can walk through it. Unfortunately for him, the laws of physics decide to make their first and only appearance in this movie, and Eddieface trips over the fence and falls over, putting a chainsaw-sized gouge in his leg along the way. He whines about that for a while.
Mary finds the main road and runs in front of an oncoming car. It stops, and she runs up to it and begs for help, but the car totally takes off. Ha! Although would have been funnier if it just ran her over. Mary leaves the road and finds a meat-packing plant. Apparently she forgets that she's running away from a chainsaw-wielding maniac, and decides to explore. She runs through a maze of pigpens from a variety of camera angles and into the building. Of course, Eddieface shows up and grabs her feet. Mary fights him off and runs through a bunch of meat hooks and into a freezer full of meat. She gets all freaked out by the meat, although at this point you would think that she'd be pretty desensitized to that.
Mary tries to hide from Eddieface by sliding in between two flanks of meat. It doesn't work. She runs away, avoiding Eddieface's chainsaw on the way out (damn!), and he gets so mad that he pulls the sprinkler system. Well, okay: he only did that so we could see Mary in a wet tank top. Aw, yeah! Nipples are HOT! Mary runs around until she finds a meat cleaver. She picks it up and tries to figure out what to do next.
The sprinklers shut off, and Eddieface skulks around the plant, looking for Mary. She's hiding in a locker. Eddieface walks by her, and she bangs on the door to get his attention. Eddieface looks through the lockers for Mary. He sees one locker with a shaky door and goes for it. Oops! There's a pig inside, not Mary! It's an easy mistake to make, but also one with dire consequences for Eddieface. Mary jumps out from the locker behind Eddieface and chops at him with the cleaver. He does not like this one bit, and is especially distressed to see that his good chainsaw-wielding arm has been hacked off. I'm distressed, too. Now he'll never kill Mary!
Mary runs out of the plant. Now it's pouring outside, for the threefold reason that it's symbolic, it looks cool, and, most importantly, it gives us another chance to see Mary's nipples. Mary runs through the rain and onto the road, where she plants herself in front of a truck. It stops, and a guy gets out. He asks her if she's okay, but she's decided to pull an Anne and go all catatonic. Inside the truck, Trucker tries to get some information, but all Mary'll say is that she wants to go home. Trucker drives by Grandma's gas station. Upon seeing it, Mary freaks out and tries to grab the steering wheel. Trucker pulls up to the gas station and exits the vehicle, saying he'll get her some help from the station. Mary follows him out of the truck and looks in the station window to see Trucker talking to Grandma, Skinny, Sheriff, and the stolen baby. Why are they at the gas station all of the sudden? Because they read the script and knew that Trucker and Mary would show up there, I guess.