Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chainsaws Don't Kill People; People Kill People
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.14.2004
Mary takes that in, then resumes her attempt to escape with renewed vigor. She gets out of the van and heads into the Forest of Doom with Eddieface right behind her. Mary comes upon a trailer and knocks on it, apparently still under the impression that there is someone in this neighborhood who doesn't want to murder her. Some thin, meek-looking woman lets Mary in. Inside the trailer, Mary panics and runs around, finding its other occupant, a fat woman with an awesome beehive, in the process. Skinny tells her to sit and pours her some tea. She also regrets to inform Mary that she doesn't have a phone. "Phones are a hassle," Fatty says. Mary says that's just great, now they'll all die. Skinny says that the "sweet boy" knows better than to mess with them. She says that he has a "skin disease…didn't [Mary] look at his face?" Mary's like, "Yeah, I looked at his face. And it was THE FACE OF MY MURDERED BOYFRIEND!" Actually, she just cries. Skinny shoves more tea in Mary's face. Suddenly, a baby starts crying. Skinny takes a can of baked beans out of the fridge and goes to tend to the baby. I did not know that baked beans were recommended baby food. But now I know what to get for that upcoming baby shower!
Instead, Mary starts exploring and finds a picture frame. Inside is the same picture of the Heche family that was in the jar. Looks like someone had time in between murders to visit the local Kinko's and make a few copies. A phone rings. Mary takes a good minute to figure out that the two women were lying about the phone, and that the baby isn't Skinny's; it's the one from the Heche picture. "YOU STOLE HER!" Mary screams, because Jessica Biel is a much better actress when she's yelling. Oh, and now Mary's having trouble staying conscious, because she drank too much of that tea. This is why you shouldn't accept gifts from strangers. That's a lesson I'll bet Pepper's wishing she had learned before she accepted a ride from those four pretty teenagers in an old van.
Mary is revived by the Sheriff pouring beer on her face. She's in the Plantation House living room. Old Lady from the gas station is there, doing some ironing. Sheriff addresses her as "Ma," and then the freaky boy knocks on the window and asks "Grandma" if he can come in. And the movie all comes together, except not really at all. But at least we know who's related to who. Well, except for Skinny and Fatty. We never find out exactly how they fit into all of this. Grandma tells Boy that he can't come in the house, as he's being punished for some previous transgression. Then she tells off Mary for being like the people who made fun of her son, Leatherface. Whatever, let's get to the part where Mary gets killed. Grandma calls "Thomas" into the living to fetch Mary and get rid of her. Eddieface comes in and drags her away. The boy watches and runs off. Grandma hands Sheriff his pants from the ironing board, and he puts them on. I didn't realize he wasn't wearing pants until now. That's gross.
Eddieface tosses Mary into the basement and closes the door instead of following her down to murder her. Great. Mary finds herself surrounded by body parts and the tools that were used to remove them from their original owners. She also finds Andy, who is, incredibly, still alive. She tries to lift him off the hook, but she can't because she isn't good at anything. In fact, she only makes things worse. So he asks her to just kill him. She grabs a knife and, after much hesitation and sad background music, stabs him. He dies, and she screams and cries a lot.