Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chick Flick
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.19.2000
Upstairs hallway. The gang runs right into Bloody Mary. This would be much scarier if BM's make-up didn't look like she escaped from the First Calvary Baptist Church's one-dollar Halloween Spook Shack on Rural Route Five. Anyway, Billy very bravely wrestles with her. BM stabs him in the chest. Phoebe wails, "Billy!" The knife doesn't affect him; he realizes that like the bad guys, he "can't be killed." He tells the Ps to run.
Bathroom. Piper runs inside, shuts the door, and finds a hiding place. Then, for the radio listeners, she notes, "I'm being stalked by psycho-killers and I hide behind a shower curtain!" HA HA! She hears the door creak open behind her. A shadow appears on the curtain. It's whipped open to reveal -- Prue! The hard Ps shriek at each other. Then they hug. Just then, Bloody Mary appears in the bathroom. The sisters rush out the other bathroom door (the hell? how long has that been there?) and run down the hallway, straight into Billy and Phoebe. Everyone shrieks some more. Phoebe announces that she's "figured out how to kill these guys." Hatchet Man appears behind the Ps. They run up to attic. Billy stays behind to hold HM off.
Attic. Phoebe expositions about Billy's comment earlier about his knowledge consisting only of the lines and direction he was given in his movie realm. Therefore, Hatchet Man and Bloody Mary will die from their respective cinematic causes. Piper's no help because she's a "romantic comedy girl." Luckily, Phoebe remembers that BM was pushed out a window and HM was electrocuted. Bloody Mary enters the attic with her knife raised. She approaches the Ps. Prue runs downstairs to see what she can do about Hatchet Man. Phoebe flips BM to the floor, then grabs a rafter and swing-kicks her out the window. The docile Ps look out to see Bloody Mary's body on the ground below suddenly burn up like a piece of celluloid. Nifty effect -- I guess that's where the budget went in lieu of professional make-up. Then Prue is thrown back into the attic room. Hatchet Man enters behind her. Prue joins her sisters. She notices a plugged-in electric space heater and a mop bucket in front of them. Deus ex contriva, anyone? Just then, Billy bursts into the attic and announces that "the man is here to save the day." Prue replies, "It's the twenty-first century. It's the woman's job to save the day." Billy's down with that. He watches Prue fling the space heater into Hatchet Man's arms while Phoebe throws water from the bucket on him. HM sparks up and burns just like Bloody Mary. Piper: "It's over." Phoebe channels Randy Meeks from the Scream trilogy and warns her sister, "Don't ever say that. Anytime someone says that in a movie, something always happens." The doorbell rings. The Ps plotz.