Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chick Flick
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.19.2000
Another cineplex. On-screen, some sorority or slumber party girls shriek and run away from a pasty white knife-wielding Morticia Addams woman who comes at them through some French doors. Cut to Leo and Piper entering the audience area. They stand in the back of the theater and see Blackie walk onscreen. He throws agitation mist on the audience and they begin to brawl. Piper notices that neither she nor Leo is affected and chalks it up to a "magic perk." Blackie wails on L&P for talking during the movie. He sends the slasher woman, named Bloody Mary, out of the movie to kill them. Piper tries to freeze Bloody Mary, but she keeps advancing. L&P book out of there.
Some teen girls going "out of control" while shopping for summer fashions at Wal-Mart. Until they're taken down with tranquilizer darts.
Halliwell Manor. Basement. Darkroom. Hatchet Man is swinging his axe at Prue. She tries to show him the telekinetic hand, but it doesn't work on him. Prue kicks Hatchet Man in the face and flees up the stairs, while pulling up her tank top so her breasts don't plop out on camera.
Attic. Phoebe's macking with Billy some more. Prue bursts in the room and almost out of her top. Pheebs: "Hello! Privacy!" Prue: "Hello! Axe murderer!" Prue flings some furniture to barricade the doorway. Hatchet Man makes like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and chops his way through the door. The lazy Ps head towards the back of the room and hide behind Billy for protection. Hatchet Man smashes the furniture standing between him and his prey. Prue: "That was an antique, you assho --" Billy covers her mouth. Phoebe informs Prue that Billy is "very sensitive about language." Heh. Hatchet Man approaches.
Foyer. Piper enters the house and locks the front door behind her. She expositions aloud about a "dead woman on her way with a knife" and Leo staying behind at the theater to calm down the crowd. She wonders where everyone is, then hears Hatchet Man's grunts and the lazy Ps' shrieks upstairs.
Attic. Hatchet Man chops his way towards Billy and the lazy Ps. Suddenly Hatchet Man stops and collapses to the floor. Piper's stabbed him in the back with what looks to be a table leg. The hell? Piper asks them if the guy looks familiar. Phoebe identifies him as the protagonist of Axe Husband, a slasher flick she caught the week before. Prue: "We so have to monitor your viewing habits." Once again, STEP BACK, Prue. (And I'd like to add that if the writers are trying to make Pheebs more appealing to me by making her a cheezy B-horror movie fan, they've succeeded tremendously. P.S.: Her new glasses are doing the job, too.) Piper informs Billy and her sisters that a killer named Bloody Mary is after them also. Just then, Hatchet Man gets up. The Ps and Billy bolt downstairs, while reasoning that since the psycho-killers are fictional and do not exist, they cannot be killed. By extension, those who do not exist should not be able to cause any harm either, but whatever. The Charmed Ones are running in fear, and we all seem to be having a good time. Woo hoo!