Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sister Long-Legs
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.18.2013
"When has being dishonest ever helped me? Or you? Or anyone?"
* (Point Hastings, I guess, although I did want to point out w/r/t PedoWatch 2013 that the word he used above was "attractive," not "incredible." Could mean nothing, could mean everything.)
TANG SOO DO
Aria and Jake do some martial artistry, mostly things like "How to escape a garotting wire in a car" and "Using somebody's body mass to throw them off of bell towers" and "Escaping a glass-shard-wielding substitute teacher under the influence of poison" but it's very cute. There's a lot of "you have to trust me, there has to be a level of trust," which for Aria is of course a total aphrodisiac -- firstly because it's kind of a pedophile thing to say, but more because there is no one on Earth for her to trust so it's relaxing to even hear him say it -- and it's just very good.
Aria: "I'm not some scary ball of paranoia, okay? I've just got a lot of stuff going on. I recently broke up with my boyfriend..."
Jake: "Is that who you're afraid of?"
Aria: "Ha! He's got me by like eleven pounds. No, I just wanted to put that out there and it seemed relatively subtle. The deal is this. I feel angry. Feeling powerless makes me feel angry."
Jake: "Good, because you essentially are, and that's what we're doing here. But we can't really take on the world until we feel safe in our own skin."
Aria: "That is a foregone conclusion."
DILAURENTIS
Tippi: "This isn't Yahtzee, sweetie! Bawk!"
Hanna: "Would it be weird to ask you about the day they pulled your daughter's rotting corpse out of that part of the yard over there?"
Jessica: "Maybe if I were sober. Listen, here's a completely unrelated story that has nothing to do with what we're talking about whatsoever and in fact has nothing to do with the question you just asked me."
FLASHBACK
Ali: "Have another drink, mom! That's what brunch is for!"
Jessica: "Fine, I'll abstain. No, fuck that. Bring me a drink, garcon."
Ali: "So can I stay down the shore til Tuesday?"
Jessica: "By yourself?"
Ali: "No, Aria and Spencer are coming. And I guess Hanna."
Jessica: "If they let her fat ass on the train, huh? No. This sounds like a situation where you will get pregnant."
Ali: "This is about girls. Girls together outrageously. Reconnecting before my impending death."