Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sister Long-Legs
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.18.2013
Emily: "It is not possible to move too fast! In a relationship, or a swimming pool."
Paige: "Do you like it? I was going for 'cozy' but then it was one puffy drape away from Grey Gardens."
First I was like, there's a Lauren Conrad joke in there, and then I was like too problematic, I'm gonna wait and see what Heather says, and Heather said maybe it was a gay thing, but if so, I guess, yikes. I can see Paige going shabby-chic or country-cozy or whatever, puffy curtains everywhere. Bikes on the lawn. Sometimes a puffy drape is just a puffy drape, a bad idea, nothing more.
Emily: "In this virtual world, the beds are pretty far apart."
Paige: "What a turn on that you said that! Here is a chaste hug around the shoulders."
Emily: "Not the SHOULDERS!"
Paige: "What's wrong? You can tell me anything. Unless it's that you're injured, and endangering our entire lesbian future together. Then you should probably just stuff those feelings down and then stack a handful of pills on top of that."
Emily: "To be fair, it's not just about melding ourselves into one sexy being, it's also the idea of starting a whole new life across the country where I am not constantly being murdered and drugged and punched in the boob."
Paige: "Well, as long as you swim better tomorrow than you have ever swammed before."
Emily: "I think the word is 'swimed.' Show me your puffy drapes."
Paige: "Oh, I'll show you some puffy drapes."
The sweetest part of all is that Paige thinks it's the drapes that separate them from being Grey Gardens, rather than their open and dedicated aspiration to becoming Grey Gardens that will end up making them Grey Gardens. You know what I mean? "If we decorate in a modern kitsch style, or maybe even like a Hollywood Regency, it won't feel quite so much like we are becoming a single entity that eschews all other human contact."
SPENCER
Spencer: "Toby, why didn't you come upstairs when you got here?"
Toby: "Too busy texting with A."
Spencer: "?"
Toby: "...Uh, 'A' as in, 'a' fellow teen contractor. Not 'A' as in 'A.'"
Spencer: "Really?"
Toby: "No. Refreshingly, I am going to come clean."
Spencer: "Right now? That would be something."